Category: Mental Health

A New Adventure

Last week I began what I’d like to think of as a new adventure.

If you have read some of my previous posts, you may remember that I wrote about a treatment called ECT, or Electro-convulsive Therapy, that I underwent. It was a long process spanning numerous months, and it was not pleasant. In total I received forty treatments. The treatments did help with my depression, but they also affected my short and long term memory. Because of this I had to stop the treatments.

Well, it’s been a while since I finished ECT, and my depression is still very much lingering. So I decided to try a new treatment called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, or TMS. My psychiatrist recommended this for me as it has very few side effects (if any), and combined with his instruction in mindfulness, it could possibly help with my memory issues. So after praying about it and seeking advice, I decided to move forward.

I started the treatments last Friday, and I have a treatment each weekday, so I’ve already had five treatments. My psychiatrist said I should start seeing results around the tenth treatment – so I’m looking forward to that.

Just wanted to share this new journey that I am undertaking, and to ask for prayer. I truly appreciate everyone’s love and encouragement. ❤

 

Photo by: Crystal Knauss

A Good Day

Today has been a fairly good day, and for that I am extremely grateful.

During the past month or so since I last posted, I’ve been having a very rough time staying positive. My depression has been so dark and suffocating that I’ve wanted to give up on numerous occasions. Also, my OCD has come back with a vengeance. My mind has been bombarded with thoughts that I don’t want, but that I tend to latch onto…and extreme anxiety rears its ugly head.

But I’ve still been fighting.

Fighting to stay out of my bed, which is my normal escape. Fighting to do everyday tasks that I have no energy or motivation for. Fighting to let the distressing thoughts pass without assigning them value.

And what’s more important, God has been fighting for me. I know He’s there, helping me, even thought it’s often difficult to see.

So what is it exactly that enabled me to have a better day today? Well, I think there are a number of factors involved. I saw my psychiatrist recently and he increased the dosage of one of my medications along with adding a new med. I’m hoping that the meds are starting to kick in and help me feel better. Also, I didn’t sleep as much during the day today as I normally do. This kept me from beating myself up for wasting the day. I also got out of the house several times, which helped me feel less lonely and isolated.

Whatever the case may be, I’m grateful to God for a day when I actually smiled and laughed. It’s been a long time coming.

The plan is to faithfully take my meds, to possibly search for a work-from-home job that I can handle, to make a daily schedule for myself that will hopefully keep me out of bed, to find a new therapist with whom I can discuss my struggles, and to look into getting TMS – Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, which is a type of treatment that can help with severe depression.

Continued thoughts and prayers are much appreciated! And please let me know if there is anything you’d like me to pray for. ❤

Photo by: Samantha Lynch

On the Upswing

The past several days have been a little better for me. I’m still struggling with the depression and anxiety, but it hasn’t felt as oppressive. Thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers!

The weekend was a good opportunity to spend time with my Hubby, Roy. We did things around the house, ran errands, and just enjoyed each other’s company. We were also able to share some time with Roy’s parents, which was very nice. Then last night we had a delicious glass of wine with our leftovers. 🙂

This morning I actually stayed awake after helping the Hubby get off to work, instead of just crawling back into bed. It was difficult, but God helped me to get a shopping list together and run out to the grocery store before the day got too hot.

It may not seem like much improvement, but for me it is! So thank you again for the thoughts and prayers – I really appreciate them. Hopefully this upward trend will continue. ❤