I’m not sure what to write about. I just feel like I need to write.
I desire to be creative.
I desire to help people.
I desire to help people with the things that I have learned from the struggles I’ve endured.
I desire to creatively share the comfort and wisdom that I’ve received from walking through my own fiery trials. I want to help others who may be in a similar experience.
I desire to share how God has been with me in my fiery trials; how He has faithfully helped me in every circumstance.
But how do I do this?
I focus so much on the details and on trying to make everything “perfect” that I never actually DO anything to work towards my goals. I never start writing. I never start creating. I’m stuck in an in-between space; a space in which I allow the doubts and the fears and the obsessive thoughts to quench the ideas and passions that have welled up in my soul. Instead of taking that first step and allowing myself to enjoy the creative process, I linger in this in-between space. I let the fear win.
Help me, Father!
I know You have a plan for me. I know Your plan is good and that You know what is best for me. Help me to trust that You know what You’re doing, even when I proudly think my plan is better than Yours.
If You can hold the whole world in Your hands, then You can hold me in this in-between space – doubts, fears, obsessions, and all.
“Who rises up for me against the wicked? Who stands up for me against evildoers?
If the LORD had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul…
The LORD has become my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge.”
Psalm 94:16-19, 22
Last night I wasn’t in a very good place in my mind, and God used the words of this Psalm to calm and encourage me. I hope that if you’re in a tough place right now, these words will cheer your soul also. 💕
I was convicted the other day about how unfaithful I have been with using the gifts and abilities that God has given me.
I love to write, but I procrastinate and make excuses – because I’m afraid.
Afraid that no one will like what I write. Afraid that my writing won’t be any good. Afraid that it won’t be helpful to anyone – that it just won’t “click” with people. Afraid that it won’t be the “perfect” post that I’m so driven to create.
I’m also afraid of what other people will think and say about my writing. Will they laugh at me? Will they think I’m a joke? Will they be upset or offended that I’m trying to share my struggles with mental health? With motherhood? With my faith?
God, forgive me for fearing man above you! Forgive me for not being a faithful steward of the abilities that You’ve given me – for wasting Your gifts instead of using them for Your glory. Forgive me for doubting Your calling, for second-guessing myself, for putting off writing (and other tasks) because I’m too scared, for thinking that this gift of writing isn’t “as good as” others’ gifts – even though I believe my gift is from you.
Help me, Father! Help me to have the energy and motivation to write. To share freely with others the lessons that You are teaching me. To recount the little victories that You give me as I trust in You and obey You each day.
Several weeks ago I found an old Christmas card from several of our friends who live far away. It was an encouragement to read it again! And the most encouraging (and motivating) part was the note from one of these friends sharing that they enjoyed my blog posts, and that they had really connected with them. That my writing helped them not to feel so alone. That they felt heard and understood.
Isn’t this a good enough reason to continue writing?
Motivate me each day, Lord, to offer this gift to you, and to allow You to use it (and me) as You see fit. I love you, Daddy!