Coins in a Jar

Forty-four dollars and nineteen cents.

That’s how much money I received from the machine after putting in all of the coins that my Dad had saved up for me. He loves throwing his change in a jar when he comes home from work, and then giving it to me to cash out and use towards things that I need.

I went food shopping after I traded in my coins. I attempted to add up in my head the cost of the things that I was putting in my cart, but I soon lost count. Going down my grocery list, I picked up the items that I needed, and was finally ready to check out. As the cashier rang up my items, I was praying that I had enough cash to pay for it. And you’ll never guess how much the total came to:

Forty-four dollars and nineteen cents!

Isn’t our God amazing?! He knew how much money I needed, and He provided it for me – nothing more, and nothing less.

And I know that His provision wasn’t just about money. It was about my Father showing me, in a manner that I could not deny, that He sees me. He sees the things that I’m going through. He sees my heart and my desire to please Him. He sees my struggles and my shortcomings and my sins…and He loves me just the same.

I am His daughter, and He lovingly cares for my needs.

So whatever situation you are in today, just know that God sees you. He sees every detail of Your situation, and He cares deeply. If you will trust Him with your life, He will gladly take your burdens and will faithfully provide for you in His own time and way – just as He graciously did for me.

That’s the simple lesson that God taught me through coins in a jar.


When I’m With You

“When I’m with You
I feel the real me finally breaking through
It’s all because of You Jesus
Anytime anywhere any heartache
I’m never too much for You to take
There’s only love
There’s only grace
When I’m with You”

~ Citizen Way

I’m so glad that I can be myself with God.

Yesterday and today were rough days for me. I struggled with a lot of anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and depression. But thank the Lord that He was there with me, walking beside me every step of the way.

I can share with Him every doubt, every worry, every fear…and know that it won’t be too much for my Father. When I come to Him with these burdens, He pours out His love and grace on me. And I can feel peace in His presence.

If you are struggling with feeling like you need to put on a facade before the Lord, just remember that He knows you and loves you just the way you are. He is aware of our hang-ups, and He will bring us victory in those areas as we rely on Him.

When we’re with Him…we have everything we need.

Letting Go

I haven’t posted in quite some time. During this lapse, I celebrated several birthdays including my own, said goodbye (for now) to a beautiful person and dear friend, lost a much-loved pet, helped to plan a Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party for my best friend, shared the holidays with my family, began attending a behavioral health program, played in a hand-bell performance at my church, and watched with joy as my best friend said “I do,” to name a few.

There have definitely been some ups and downs.

But I feel like that is what God is trying to teach me. No matter what happens in my life – whether it be good or bad – He is there, and He is loving, and He is sovereign. And He is using my circumstances to mold and shape me so that I can fulfill His plans for my life.

Today as I was driving home from a difficult psychiatrist appointment, the Lord spoke to me through several songs: “Just Be Held,” by Casting Crowns, “Come As You Are,” by Crowder, and “Help Me Find It,” by Sidewalk Prophets. I felt like God was saying to me:

“Crystal, you’ve got to let go. Stop trying to control everything. Stop trying to be perfect. Stop trying to please everyone. Come to me just the way you are – weaknesses, sins, brokenness and all. Look to Me. Rely on Me. Trust Me. I am your Father, and I love you. Life will not be easy, but I will guide you as you move forward in faith.”

And that’s what I want to do.

I will most likely stumble and fall…but I trust that I will keep getting back up by God’s grace. And keep moving forward.

I want to let go – moment by moment…and fall into the arms of the God who will never let go of me.



The featured picture is a shot that I took with my phone when I arrived home from my Dr.’s appointment today. In the photo it looks like the sun, but it’s actually a tiny slice of a rainbow (there were numerous colors). This was another reminder that God sees me, sees where I am and what I’m struggling with. And that with Him, there is hope.