Tag: depression

An In-Between Space

I’m not sure what to write about. I just feel like I need to write.

I desire to be creative.

I desire to help people.

I desire to help people with the things that I have learned from the struggles I’ve endured.

I desire to creatively share the comfort and wisdom that I’ve received from walking through my own fiery trials. I want to help others who may be in a similar experience.

I desire to share how God has been with me in my fiery trials; how He has faithfully helped me in every circumstance.

But how do I do this?

I focus so much on the details and on trying to make everything “perfect” that I never actually DO anything to work towards my goals. I never start writing. I never start creating. I’m stuck in an in-between space; a space in which I allow the doubts and the fears and the obsessive thoughts to quench the ideas and passions that have welled up in my soul. Instead of taking that first step and allowing myself to enjoy the creative process, I linger in this in-between space. I let the fear win.

Help me, Father!

I know You have a plan for me. I know Your plan is good and that You know what is best for me. Help me to trust that You know what You’re doing, even when I proudly think my plan is better than Yours.

If You can hold the whole world in Your hands, then You can hold me in this in-between space – doubts, fears, obsessions, and all.

Thank You for always being with me.

God Cheers my Soul

“Who rises up for me against the wicked? Who stands up for me against evildoers?

If the LORD had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.

When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul…

The LORD has become my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge.”

Psalm 94:16-19, 22

Last night I wasn’t in a very good place in my mind, and God used the words of this Psalm to calm and encourage me. I hope that if you’re in a tough place right now, these words will cheer your soul also. 💕

Faithful Father

Daddy and his little boy.

I’m frickin’ angry.

I’m so incredibly tired.

I’m at a complete loss for what to think and how to respond to my continued inability to sleep and to the way it’s making me feel right now.

I want to just keep eating and eating this “comfort food.” Why not? It makes me feel “good” – or at least “okay” – for a few rotten moments…and then it bites me in the butt.

I need You, Daddy. I need You, my “Abba,” my gracious Father…I need You desperately. I know You’re here with me, but I’m having a hard time “feeling” Your presence. I wish You could physically embrace me so that I could “experience” the comfort of your touch…but I can only “sense” Your strong (yet gentle) “arms” around me now with “tingling skin” of faith.

Where are You, God?

Are you in this fiery trial with me, or have You left me all alone?

I know the answer. I know the truth…

I am not alone. You are right here with me, in this fire. Protecting me from the effects of the billowing flames.

You’ve been here before. You’ve felt what I’m feeling. You understand completely.

I am known and loved.

I am cherished and adored.

I have worth.

I have value.

I am fashioned in Your image, and you have declared Your creation of me as “very good.”

I am Your “masterpiece,” …Your “poem”!

You are writing my “story” – the story of my life.

You, the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, care about me…and You care about everything that concerns me!

You are incredibly and delightfully and utterly GOOD –

All of the time. Now and forevermore…

My Faithful Father. 💜