Everything I Need

God spoke to me today.

Not through an audible voice, but through His Spirit’s meeting me right where I was. He saw my struggle, He heard my cry for help, and He answered me.

Recently I’ve been engaged in a daily battle – a battle to look to God for all that I need. Instead of running into His arms, I have been settling for lesser things, things that bring only fleeting pleasure and ultimately leave me empty.

But God spoke to me today while I was sitting in my car, enjoying a few moments of peace while sipping my coffee and nibbling on a pastry.

He directed me to read a devotional that I had come across recently, studying the names of God in the Bible. The first name of God listed was “El Shaddai”. This name of God is translated from the Hebrew text as “Almighty God”, with undertones of God’s providing His children with all the nourishment they need for life, as a mother’s milk provides life-sustaining nourishment to her child.

Our God is a God of almighty power and strength. He is the only One who has complete control over all of creation, and He promises to give His children the strength that they need to accomplish His purposes for their lives. And our Almighty God cares about us so deeply that He desires us to come to Him for all of our needs, just as a child relies solely on its mother.

What does this mean for me? In El Shaddai, I have the power to accomplish all that He has called me to do. Not only do I have His almighty power, but also His daily sustenance and provision to meet every single one of my needs as I serve Him.

How can I look for contentment in any other place than in His loving embrace?

My Almighty Father, my El Shaddai, thank You for teaching me more about Your character. Help me to look to You alone for the power and provision that I need to accomplish Your will for me.

“The LORD is my Shepherd; I have everything I need.”

Psalm 23:1

*I actually wrote this earlier in the week, but I have not been able to post it until now.

*Photo taken by me 🙂

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

My husband and I were hoping to try IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). Since nothing else was working, we thought it’d be the logical next step for us. But we weren’t expecting a crazy “rest” cycle in between.

A rest cycle in which I just ovulated today, on day 56. A rest cycle where we were forced to use some of the medication that was set aside for our IVF cycle. A rest cycle that has been anything but restful.

I think that since I didn’t start off taking any fertility medications this cycle, my body just didn’t know what to do. At one point I started spotting, and I figured my period was about to begin. But the days continued to pass uneventfully, and it wasn’t until I insisted on going in to the doctor’s office for blood-work and an US (Ultrasound) that we learned I hadn’t even ovulated yet. It feels like this cycle is just going on and on.

Recently I’ve been having a difficult time remaining grateful regarding our fertility journey. Things just aren’t going as planned. We pray and pray, and yet are left with more questions than answers. What is God doing?

But if I’m honest, there are things that point to God’s involvement in our situation.

For example, we were told by our doctor to purchase the medications that we would need for IVF during our previous cycle. Little did we know that we wouldn’t be able to use them any time soon – and several of the medications have a very short shelf-life. We were worried that they would be wasted, or that we would need to use them prematurely. Even thought we’ve been forced to use some of them to jump-start this “rest” cycle that we’re in, our nurses have been generous enough to give us a few replacement medications – which we can use if we do move on to IVF.

Although things have been frustrating for my husband and me, we know that God is still in control. We need to trust that God is there, working. Working for His glory and our good. And that He wants to teach us and grow us through this process.

P.S. Thank you to all those who have prayed for us during this journey. We are truly grateful! ❤

Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash