When You Feel Like an Outsider

Have you ever felt like an outlier (outsider)? Like someone who is just different from everyone else, who is far away and separated from other  “normal” people?

I feel that way sometimes. When I have weird thoughts in my head…when I have emotions that don’t make sense (or no emotions at all when I should have them)…and when I just can’t seem to say the *right* thing in conversations – for these reasons, and others, I sometimes feel like I am an outlier.

But AM I an outlier? I have to believe that I am not. I know that I have many people who love me and accept me just the way that I am…and for this I am grateful.

So then WHY do I feel this way at times?

I think it has to do with the conversations that I have with myself in my mind. For example, I tell myself that I am not important because no one “liked” what I posted on social media. I tell myself that a certain person is mad at me, because I interpret (wrongly) what they are saying to me or how they are treating me. Or I tell myself that I am strange and will never fit in, because I compare the way I look, talk, and act to others around me.

I know that these are not good thought patterns. I don’t need to worry about what other people think of me. I don’t need to over-analyze their words and actions. And I don’t need to compare myself with others.

How do I know this? The Bible says in Philippians 4:8 (the VOICE) –

Finally, brothers and sisters, fill your minds with beauty and truth. Meditate on whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good, whatever is virtuous and praiseworthy.

The thoughts that I previously mentioned certainly do not fit the criteria in this passage (beautiful, true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, good, virtuous, and praiseworthy)!

So I ask for prayer…that I will fill my mind with beauty and truth, so that I don’t continue to feel like an outlier. And if you struggle with this as well, please leave me a comment so I can pray for you, also! ❤

I created this post based today’s Daily Prompt from WordPress: Outlier.

Photo Credit: Agnieszka P

Thankful Thursday (episode 2)

Last week I began a habit that I wanted to continue: focusing on being grateful by recording three things that I’m thankful for each day. Well, I did okay with this, but not great. I tried using an app, the Five Minute Journal, to help me keep track of my gratitude list, but I would forget to write in it! Then a day would pass without my recording anything, and because of my memory loss from ECT (electro-convulsive therapy – it can help with depression), I would forget the things that I was thankful for. *sigh*

But not to fear! I am going to keep trying. The app has the option for sending you reminders, so I’m going to see if that helps me. And if it doesn’t, then maybe I could try keeping a physical journal. I just have to find what works for me. 🙂

Anyway, I WAS able to record a few things that I’m thankful for, so without further ado, here is my list:

  1. A fairly good appointment with my Psychiatrist
  2. Safety while traveling in the rain
  3. The opportunity to bring free drinks and a cookie from Chick-fil-a to Target for Roy’s (my Hubby’s) work break so we could enjoy them together
  4. A nice time at Barnes and Noble with the Hubby
  5. My Mom helped me with picking out a meal for Monday night (our good friends come over to share a meal before our handbell practice)
  6. We had a good time at dinner and handbells (the dinner turned out fine even though I was worried about making it, and we had a profitable rehearsal)
  7. Drinks at Dunkin’ Donuts…woo-hoo!
  8. Mild weather…I was able to take a nice walk with the dog
  9. A beautiful sunset
  10. That God helped me with work, as I wasn’t feeling very well

That’s it for this week! Hopefully I will do better next week with keeping my list. 😉 Thank you for reading! ❤

Trusting His Heart

From the beginning to the end God has me in His hand.

So then how does all of this sorrow fit into His plan?

Why do I feel like I’m drowning in suffering,

When what you’re telling me is that you want me to sing?

I know that You are God and that what You do is good…

But will there ever be a time that I can say I understood

Why you didn’t take away the hurt and the pain?

Please help me to to trust Your heart until you make things plain.

Strengthen me through these trials and guide me in Your will,

And when I want to argue, Lord, please teach me to be still.