An In-Between Space

I’m not sure what to write about. I just feel like I need to write.

I desire to be creative.

I desire to help people.

I desire to help people with the things that I have learned from the struggles I’ve endured.

I desire to creatively share the comfort and wisdom that I’ve received from walking through my own fiery trials. I want to help others who may be in a similar experience.

I desire to share how God has been with me in my fiery trials; how He has faithfully helped me in every circumstance.

But how do I do this?

I focus so much on the details and on trying to make everything “perfect” that I never actually DO anything to work towards my goals. I never start writing. I never start creating. I’m stuck in an in-between space; a space in which I allow the doubts and the fears and the obsessive thoughts to quench the ideas and passions that have welled up in my soul. Instead of taking that first step and allowing myself to enjoy the creative process, I linger in this in-between space. I let the fear win.

Help me, Father!

I know You have a plan for me. I know Your plan is good and that You know what is best for me. Help me to trust that You know what You’re doing, even when I proudly think my plan is better than Yours.

If You can hold the whole world in Your hands, then You can hold me in this in-between space – doubts, fears, obsessions, and all.

Thank You for always being with me.

Overcoming my Writing Fears

Enjoying a delicious latte at a cute coffee shop in Harrisburg

I was convicted the other day about how unfaithful I have been with using the gifts and abilities that God has given me.

I love to write, but I procrastinate and make excuses – because I’m afraid.

Afraid that no one will like what I write. Afraid that my writing won’t be any good. Afraid that it won’t be helpful to anyone – that it just won’t “click” with people. Afraid that it won’t be the “perfect” post that I’m so driven to create.

I’m also afraid of what other people will think and say about my writing. Will they laugh at me? Will they think I’m a joke? Will they be upset or offended that I’m trying to share my struggles with mental health? With motherhood? With my faith?

God, forgive me for fearing man above you! Forgive me for not being a faithful steward of the abilities that You’ve given me – for wasting Your gifts instead of using them for Your glory. Forgive me for doubting Your calling, for second-guessing myself, for putting off writing (and other tasks) because I’m too scared, for thinking that this gift of writing isn’t “as good as” others’ gifts – even though I believe my gift is from you.

Help me, Father! Help me to have the energy and motivation to write. To share freely with others the lessons that You are teaching me. To recount the little victories that You give me as I trust in You and obey You each day.

Several weeks ago I found an old Christmas card from several of our friends who live far away. It was an encouragement to read it again! And the most encouraging (and motivating) part was the note from one of these friends sharing that they enjoyed my blog posts, and that they had really connected with them. That my writing helped them not to feel so alone. That they felt heard and understood.

Isn’t this a good enough reason to continue writing?

Motivate me each day, Lord, to offer this gift to you, and to allow You to use it (and me) as You see fit. I love you, Daddy!

Your Beloved Daughter,

Crystal

Fearless

What would I do if I were fearless? What opportunities would I accept? What dreams would I pursue?

And how do I become fearless?

Fear is a big struggle for me. I fear that I’m not doing well at my job (even though I’ve been told I’m doing great). I fear that I won’t make the *right* decisions (even though I have the promise of God’s wisdom). And I fear what other people think about me (even though this is not important). And these are just a few!

But how would my life change if I didn’t constantly struggle with that fear, that anxiety?

I would be confident in my job performance. I would trust God to guide me with each decision that I make. I would rest in the knowledge that God created me just the way He wanted me to be, and not worry about the opinions of others. Also, I think that I would take baby steps forward in pursuing God’s purpose for me.

Now the big question is…how do I become fearless? I’ve found several Scriptures that will help us gain some more wisdom regarding this. Even though we may always struggle with the temptation to be afraid, we can rely on God to help us focus our minds on the truths in His Word.

  • “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10
  • “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
  • “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
  • “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
  • “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
  • “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1
  • “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
  • “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25
  • “I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

From these verses we can see that the remedy for our fears is trusting in the Person and Word of Christ. This doesn’t mean we won’t struggle with fear. The temptations may continue to plague us. But when we turn to Jesus and rely on Him instead of ourselves, He gives us the power to be fearless.

What are some of your fears? How have you overcome them? What verse is special to you regarding this struggle with fear? I’d love for you to let me know in the comments section! ❤

Photo By: Julia Caesar