Tag: medication

Pitter Patter

As the rain pitter-patters on our rooftop, I sit inside our home trying to to work up the energy and motivation to take on an activity or task. I am just so tired today.

I did have my session with my psychiatrist this morning for TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) and meditation – which would normally help me – but my psychiatrist told me that my OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) is really affecting my ability to practice the breathing and mindfulness that he prescribes. He gave me a worksheet on which I’m supposed to log my breathing practices and any difficulties that I experience. And if I can’t master this meditation aspect, he might recommend another medication to help get my OCD under control.

I really don’t want to take more medicine. I’m taking enough of it. So I must do my best to practice the breathing and mindfulness throughout the day.

Anyways, just a little update. 🙂 And I wanted to share a poem that I wrote in 2015 – I found it recently in one of my journals, and it seemed to go well with my post today.

Pitter patter, rain spatters

Down the rooftop of our home.

A dark night, and out of sight

Is the sun that once did roam.

I feel my heart stop and start,

Pondering the worries that I face.

I can’t let go – release control,

Because I need things done my way;

But there’s a God whose staff and rod

Are there to guide me when I pray.

I give it up, lift up my cup

And let the Lord pour in His plan –

He knows what’s best, and I can rest

Fully surrounded in His hand. ❤

 

Photo by reza shayestehpour on Unsplash

Spiraling Downward

The past several days my mood has spiraled downward. There have been pockets of light in the darkness – but not many. I find myself wanting to sleep constantly…and a lot of times I give in to the desire. How do I get out of this horrible pit?

My psychiatrist wants me to increase the dosage of one of my medications, but I’m still waiting to receive the meds in the mail. I’m hoping that this dosage change is going to help stabilize my mood. If it doesn’t, I’m not sure what the next step should be.

My work-from-home job has ended for the school season (I graded student essays), and I really need to find something else to do to help bring in money…and to keep me on a schedule. Without the need to get up for work, I tend to just stay in bed. And I can’t keep doing this – I’ve got to break out of this cycle!

Unfortunately sleep is my coping mechanism. When I feel deeply depressed, or face a task that is overwhelming, or just want to give up…I turn to sleep. I know that this isn’t pleasing to the Lord, and that it’s not a good use of the time He’s given me. But it’s a moment-by-moment struggle for which I need all of the prayers that I can get.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for praying. I really appreciate it. ❤

10 Things that People with Depression Want You to Know

  1. Depression is not just “being sad.” Yes, you feel despair and discouragement often when you struggle with depression. But you also feel a lack of energy, low motivation, irritability, and a host of other things. Sadness just does not encompass all of the emotions that you struggle with when you are depressed.
  2. We can’t just “snap out of it.” We did not “choose” to be depressed, and we can’t just force ourselves to feel better again.
  3. There isn’t always a specific reason for why we’re feeling depressed. People often think that our depression is linked to a devastating event in our lives – although sometimes that can trigger it. But depression is not as simple as feeling low because of something bad that happens (whether big or little).
  4. We may try to hide how we’re feeling so as to appear “normal.” Sometimes we don’t feel like we “fit in,” or we feel like we’re “strange” because of our illness. Please encourage us to be open about our emotions.
  5. Things that may be easy for you can take a huge effort for us. Many times, just getting out of bed in the morning drains all of our energy. So things like making meals, taking care of our families, and navigating the work world can be overwhelming. Help us to feel good about little victories.
  6. We just need you to listen. Oftentimes friends and family members want to give advice that might help us feel better. We appreciate this, but what we really need is a listening ear. Just like any other disorder or illness, it’s difficult for someone who has never experienced the illness to be able to understand. And that’s okay! Just knowing that you are there to listen is enough.
  7. We tend to isolate ourselves without realizing it. Our homes may be our safe places. It can be easy to stay indoors during the day – especially if there’s bad weather – instead of getting outside for some fresh air. And when we make plans to get together but don’t keep them…it’s not because we don’t care about you. It’s because interacting with others takes a lot of our energy – and energy is not something we have a lot of!
  8. We can’t just “take a pill” to make depression go away. Some people with depression take medication to help with the symptoms of their illness – I am one of them. However, I don’t believe that medication fully cures depression. Many times, it assists with controlling some of the symptoms, but also causes new symptoms (like making you feel emotionless).
  9. Just because we have a good day (or week or month) doesn’t mean we’re cured. Depression is complicated, and it can come and go. So please don’t think we’ve got this thing beat if we have a period where we feel better.
  10. We’re doing our best to fight this monster. We haven’t given in to defeat. Just because we struggle doesn’t mean that we’re not doing our best to live full lives. And we appreciate all that you do to help us!

I hope that this list has been helpful, and I encourage you to leave a comment with any thoughts you might have! ❤

I got my inspiration for this post from this website.

Photo Credit: Maria Victoria Heredia Reyes