Tag: mental health

A Dry Spell

I’ve been having a bit of a dry spell with regards to writing recently. I’m not exactly sure why, although I have been struggling more than normal with my depression and anxiety the past week or so. I knew that writing would help me – help me to work through my difficulties, help me to be grateful – but I just couldn’t bring myself to start a post.

Actually, I should clarify that. I did begin several posts, but I couldn’t finish them. Either because of time constraints, lack of energy, or my perfectionism…I ended up not hitting that “publish” button.

And right now, as I sit here in front of my computer, I feel stuck. Stuck regarding writing…I want to write, but I just don’t know what to write about. And stuck regarding how I’m feeling…I feel like I’m in a deep, dark, and muddy pit. Have you ever felt this way?

I talked to my Mom about it, and she said that this can happen to a lot of writers. Your inspiration dries up for a bit. But it’s a process…and I should be able to learn and even grow through it. I just wish I could skip to the learning and growing part!

But I know she’s right. God has me where He wants me at this point in time. And I need to trust Him – trust His heart of love. And trust that He has a purpose in this. I need to get back to taking those baby steps, and to focusing on things to be grateful for. And my Father will carry me through.

I just wanted to say thank you to my readers – I really appreciate you, and I hope you are doing well. Thanks for reading even when I don’t have much to share. You give me a reason to keep trying! ❤

“Writing about a writer’s block is better than not writing at all.”
― Charles Bukowski, The Last Night of the Earth Poems

Photo Credit: Joshua Sortino

In His Perfect Time

I wrote the below post two days ago but wasn’t able to publish it at that time. So I’m posting it now. 🙂

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
    and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
    out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
    and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
    They will put their trust in the Lord.” ~ Psalm 40:1-3

This is the passage of Scripture from which I drew the name of my blog. The words speak to my heart. I don’t know why, but the metaphor of being stuck in a pit with only God’s strong arms to pull me out truly resonates with me. It’s real. It’s graphic. And it meets me where I am.

I’ve been feeling down the past several days – well, let me rephrase that – I’ve been feeling more down than usual. I’ve been in the pit. The deep, dark, muddy, pit. And it’s not a fun place to be.

I’ve tried to be grateful for the little things. I’ve tried to focus on the cleaning and preparing that was necessary for having our friends over tomorrow night. I’ve tried to relax and enjoy the weekend with my Hubby. But I still feel that dark cloud enveloping me, following me wherever I go.

But you know what? God’s got me. I may be feeling low, but He is there for me. In the passage above, David writes about how He waited patiently for God to answer him. I’m not being very patient at this point in time. I want help NOW. But my Father wants me to trust Him and to await His perfect timing.

David also wrote that God gave him a new song. I could really use a song right about now. And I pray that the Lord will fill my heart with a harmony that only He can give. That’d He’d bring back my joy and peace and strength. That He’d pull me up out of this gloomy pit.

And I know He will…in His perfect time. ❤

Thankful Thursday (episode 2)

Last week I began a habit that I wanted to continue: focusing on being grateful by recording three things that I’m thankful for each day. Well, I did okay with this, but not great. I tried using an app, the Five Minute Journal, to help me keep track of my gratitude list, but I would forget to write in it! Then a day would pass without my recording anything, and because of my memory loss from ECT (electro-convulsive therapy – it can help with depression), I would forget the things that I was thankful for. *sigh*

But not to fear! I am going to keep trying. The app has the option for sending you reminders, so I’m going to see if that helps me. And if it doesn’t, then maybe I could try keeping a physical journal. I just have to find what works for me. 🙂

Anyway, I WAS able to record a few things that I’m thankful for, so without further ado, here is my list:

  1. A fairly good appointment with my Psychiatrist
  2. Safety while traveling in the rain
  3. The opportunity to bring free drinks and a cookie from Chick-fil-a to Target for Roy’s (my Hubby’s) work break so we could enjoy them together
  4. A nice time at Barnes and Noble with the Hubby
  5. My Mom helped me with picking out a meal for Monday night (our good friends come over to share a meal before our handbell practice)
  6. We had a good time at dinner and handbells (the dinner turned out fine even though I was worried about making it, and we had a profitable rehearsal)
  7. Drinks at Dunkin’ Donuts…woo-hoo!
  8. Mild weather…I was able to take a nice walk with the dog
  9. A beautiful sunset
  10. That God helped me with work, as I wasn’t feeling very well

That’s it for this week! Hopefully I will do better next week with keeping my list. 😉 Thank you for reading! ❤