As the rain pitter-patters on our rooftop, I sit inside our home trying to to work up the energy and motivation to take on an activity or task. I am just so tired today.

I did have my session with my psychiatrist this morning for TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) and meditation – which would normally help me – but my psychiatrist told me that my OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) is really affecting my ability to practice the breathing and mindfulness that he prescribes. He gave me a worksheet on which I’m supposed to log my breathing practices and any difficulties that I experience. And if I can’t master this meditation aspect, he might recommend another medication to help get my OCD under control.

I really don’t want to take more medicine. I’m taking enough of it. So I must do my best to practice the breathing and mindfulness throughout the day.

Anyways, just a little update. 🙂 And I wanted to share a poem that I wrote in 2015 – I found it recently in one of my journals, and it seemed to go well with my post today.

Pitter patter, rain spatters

Down the rooftop of our home.

A dark night, and out of sight

Is the sun that once did roam.

I feel my heart stop and start,

Pondering the worries that I face.

I can’t let go – release control,

Because I need things done my way;

But there’s a God whose staff and rod

Are there to guide me when I pray.

I give it up, lift up my cup

And let the Lord pour in His plan –

He knows what’s best, and I can rest

Fully surrounded in His hand. ❤

 

Photo by reza shayestehpour on Unsplash