Pitter Patter

As the rain pitter-patters on our rooftop, I sit inside our home trying to to work up the energy and motivation to take on an activity or task. I am just so tired today.

I did have my session with my psychiatrist this morning for TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) and meditation – which would normally help me – but my psychiatrist told me that my OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) is really affecting my ability to practice the breathing and mindfulness that he prescribes. He gave me a worksheet on which I’m supposed to log my breathing practices and any difficulties that I experience. And if I can’t master this meditation aspect, he might recommend another medication to help get my OCD under control.

I really don’t want to take more medicine. I’m taking enough of it. So I must do my best to practice the breathing and mindfulness throughout the day.

Anyways, just a little update. 🙂 And I wanted to share a poem that I wrote in 2015 – I found it recently in one of my journals, and it seemed to go well with my post today.

Pitter patter, rain spatters

Down the rooftop of our home.

A dark night, and out of sight

Is the sun that once did roam.

I feel my heart stop and start,

Pondering the worries that I face.

I can’t let go – release control,

Because I need things done my way;

But there’s a God whose staff and rod

Are there to guide me when I pray.

I give it up, lift up my cup

And let the Lord pour in His plan –

He knows what’s best, and I can rest

Fully surrounded in His hand. ❤


Photo by reza shayestehpour on Unsplash

Trusting His Heart

From the beginning to the end God has me in His hand.

So then how does all of this sorrow fit into His plan?

Why do I feel like I’m drowning in suffering,

When what you’re telling me is that you want me to sing?

I know that You are God and that what You do is good…

But will there ever be a time that I can say I understood

Why you didn’t take away the hurt and the pain?

Please help me to to trust Your heart until you make things plain.

Strengthen me through these trials and guide me in Your will,

And when I want to argue, Lord, please teach me to be still.

The Journey

Oftentimes when you’re on a journey

You don’t know what’s up ahead;

All you can see is the heartache

And the pain you’ve felt instead.

Looking back on the road you’ve traveled,

You see bad and you see good –

So many things have happened

That you haven’t understood.

You pray that tomorrow will be better

And that you’ll learn the reason why

Each day is such a struggle

And each night a time to cry.

But you know your Heavenly Father

Holds you safely in His hands,

And you trust that whatever transpires

Is part of His loving plan.


Photo by: Toni Lluch