No Matter What it Takes

Today was a fairly good day.

Even though I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night, I got out of bed with my Hubby this morning and refrained from going back to bed. I spent some time at Barnes and Noble with a drink and a pastry. I worked on chores around the house. I took the dog for a walk. I completed tasks to prepare for a seasonal, work-from-home job that I will be starting soon. And I began to plan for teaching English lessons to my friend’s son, who speaks Spanish. It may not sound like much, but for me, it’s quite a bit.

To top it all off, my husband (Roy) had overtime at work and was able to come home early. That gave us some time to hang out and also to run to the store for a few things. We may have even grabbed drinks at Dunkin’. 🙂

As I mentioned, this may seem like a pretty normal day to most people. But because of my depression and anxiety and my desire to “avoid” the things that distress me, I have been oversleeping. Wasting the time that the Lord has given me. Failing to use the gifts that God has bestowed upon me to reach out to others. And I don’t want to do that any longer.

So it’s going to be a day-by-day thing. I know that I will still struggle immensely…but I feel like I have turned a small corner. Each day I must strive to get myself out of bed and to face the day, along with its challenges. Strive to take baby steps forward. Strive to be the woman that God created me to be.

Thankfully, my heavenly Father is faithful; and I trust that He will enable me to obey Him – no matter what it takes. ❤


Photo by David Mao on Unsplash

Living with Lethargy

Lethargy – noun, plural lethargies
1. The quality or state of being drowsy and dull, listless and unenergetic, or indifferent and lazy; apathetic or sluggish inactivity.
2. Pathology. an abnormal state or disorder characterized by overpowering drowsiness or sleep.

I struggle a lot with lethargy. It’s been an unwanted companion of my depression for many years. I have to fight to get up in the morning. I have to fight to stay awake throughout the day. And I’m always very happy when bedtime comes around and I can tuck myself into bed for the night.

But it’s not just fighting against sleep. It’s an extreme lack of energy that inhibits me from accomplishing even small tasks. Taking a shower, preparing meals, and paying bills are a few examples of tasks that can be overwhelming to me.

Why is this such a struggle for me? Well, for one, it’s a symptom of my depression. And on top of that, it’s a side effect of several of the medicines that I take to help with my depression. Sometimes I feel like the medicines cause more harm than they do help…but looking back, I have been better on them than off them.

So what do I do to combat this lethargy? I try several different methods. One is that I aim to do everything in baby steps. By breaking down tasks into smaller chunks, it can be more manageable. A second technique is to give thanks for and to allow myself to feel good about the little tasks that I complete. This encourages me to keep pushing forward. Third, I make use of caffeine. I enjoy the taste of coffee and it contains the caffeine that I want, so you will often find me sipping on a cup of joe. And lastly, I have been doing a  Five Minute Energy Routine by Donna Eden on a daily basis. My therapist shared the routine with me, and although I don’t understand all of the science behind it, it does seem to help.

What are your tips for fighting lethargy? Do you have a specific idea or method that really works for you? I’d love to hear about it in the Comments! ❤


Photo by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash

Spiraling Downward

The past several days my mood has spiraled downward. There have been pockets of light in the darkness – but not many. I find myself wanting to sleep constantly…and a lot of times I give in to the desire. How do I get out of this horrible pit?

My psychiatrist wants me to increase the dosage of one of my medications, but I’m still waiting to receive the meds in the mail. I’m hoping that this dosage change is going to help stabilize my mood. If it doesn’t, I’m not sure what the next step should be.

My work-from-home job has ended for the school season (I graded student essays), and I really need to find something else to do to help bring in money…and to keep me on a schedule. Without the need to get up for work, I tend to just stay in bed. And I can’t keep doing this – I’ve got to break out of this cycle!

Unfortunately sleep is my coping mechanism. When I feel deeply depressed, or face a task that is overwhelming, or just want to give up…I turn to sleep. I know that this isn’t pleasing to the Lord, and that it’s not a good use of the time He’s given me. But it’s a moment-by-moment struggle for which I need all of the prayers that I can get.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for praying. I really appreciate it. ❤