If everyone has a story, what is mine?
What is it that God wants to use me for in this world? Right now, I feel somewhat useless. Although I AM a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, and a friend – along with being a daughter-in-law and a sister-in-law, among other relationships – I still wonder…
Wonder what it is that I’m here for.
I love to read and to write. I love to help people. I love nature. I love to travel and see new places. I love animals. I love coffee and tea. I love enjoying time with my family and friends. But is that enough? How do all of these things come together to enable me to accomplish the personalized plan that is “my story”?
Right now I feel kind of stuck. I’m making my way through each day with God’s strength. I’m going to ECT (ElectroConvulsive Therapy) and to see my psychiatrist, praying that God will continue to help me overcome my depression and anxiety. I started a new work-from-home job which I am very grateful for…but again, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.
God, am I enough for you? Am I enough for the people who are in my life? What is it that you have for me?
I know what the Bible says. Although I will never be “good enough” in and of myself, I have been washed clean of my sins by Christ’s blood – and made His precious and beloved daughter. In Him, I am enough. In Him, I am whole. In Him, I can become the unique person that He made me to be.
I am blessed to have these precious promises. But truthfully…I’m having a difficult time believing them. I don’t feel like they are true. I don’t feel like they apply to me. I’m just not feeling it.
However, I know that it doesn’t really matter how I feel. What matters is that I have faith in what God has said to be true. And I pray that I’ll be able to do that.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” ~ Ephesians 2:10