So today has been a day characterized by waiting.
My Hubby Roy and I had a procedure called an IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) performed several weeks go as part of our ongoing attempt to become pregnant. I’ve been required to take two types of progesterone daily to help sustain a pregnancy if it did occur. The first week or so of waiting wasn’t all that bad. But the past several days – especially today – have been very difficult, because I was told that I would have the results from my bloodwork by the end of today, which would tell whether or not I am pregnant.
I still don’t have an answer. I’ve been completely stressed out since I had the blood drawn this morning. My breathing is erratic and my heartbeat is racing. I’ve already called twice to try to figure out what is going on (normally a nurse from the office calls me back within a few hours with my results), but the first time I had to leave a message, and the second time I talked to someone who told me that they are short-staffed today and that someone would get back to me by the end of the day.
Argh!!!
I just want to know now. I want to know if I’m pregnant, or if we’re going to have to try another cycle. My family and friends are awaiting the results also, but I can’t get back to them since I don’t have the information myself. I know I’m going to be very disappointed if I didn’t get pregnant this cycle…and for this reason it’s actually a tad bit of a relief that I haven’t received the results yet (they haven’t told me one way or the other, so there is still a possibility that I could be pregnant). In any case, the waiting is agonizing.
I know that I shouldn’t be stressing out so much – it doesn’t help. It doesn’t accomplish anything. And God doesn’t want me to worry. So I decided to attempt to “get out” how I’m feeling and put it into writing. At least this way I’m keeping my mind busy and being productive.
I believe that God is in control, and that He knows what’s best for Roy and me. If I didn’t get pregnant this cycle we’ll just have to keep trying. The more time that passes, the more difficult and frustrating things will probably get. But I have to keep trusting that my God is good, and that He will work according to His purpose and plan.
In the meantime, would you say a prayer for my Hubby and me? Your support is greatly appreciated. And as always, thanks for reading. ❤
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
Knees to the Earth 
Being in the stage of waiting is hard. Then there is waiting within the waiting which is even more difficult. I absolutely love your faith in the midst of your waiting, it is so encouraging. Without faith, it’s so much easier to sink. However, no matter how you are feeling and when the weight of the world feels like it’s on your shoulders we know that God’s got us in the palm of His hands. During my IUI struggles, my faith was continually tested. Sometimes the waiting was down right excruciating. However, somewhere through the struggle I let hope anchor my soul. Stay steadfast in your faith and somehow I know you will come out stronger and a better person then you ever have been before and your life will unfold as exactly as it’s meant to be. Lifting you up in prayer this morning as you await your blood test results.
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Thank you so much for reading and for your comment! Waiting is definitely difficult. I’m just curious, what do you mean by waiting within the waiting? I got my blood test test results and I am not pregnant. 😦 I wrote about this in my most recent blog post, “When God Says Not Yet,” if you’d like to know more. I know that God has a purpose and a plan in having us wait…I can already see how He’s using this trial to shape my heart and my husband’s heart. Thanks again so much for your encouragement, and especially for your prayers! That really means a lot and I am grateful. ❤
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I’m sorry to hear about your negative results and for some reason I’m just seeing this reply now. Sorry for the delay in response. When I said there is waiting within the waiting I meant that it’s hard to already wait for that child your heart desires but when you are trying for that child month after month for me there was waiting within the waiting…like right now, I’d love another to complete my family and know it isn’t going to happen on it’s own so that is waiting then within that I can’t even start treatment until I’ve been done nursing for 3 months… which is an example of waiting within waiting. Does that make sense? I’ll continue to say prayers for you and your husband. XOXO!
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I think it makes sense! Thanks for explaining. 🙂 That must be difficult to have to wait until you’re done nursing for three months in order to try for another baby. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Have hope, and thank you for your response and your prayers! ❤
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