So today has been a day characterized by waiting.
My Hubby Roy and I had a procedure called an IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) performed several weeks go as part of our ongoing attempt to become pregnant. I’ve been required to take two types of progesterone daily to help sustain a pregnancy if it did occur. The first week or so of waiting wasn’t all that bad. But the past several days – especially today – have been very difficult, because I was told that I would have the results from my bloodwork by the end of today, which would tell whether or not I am pregnant.
I still don’t have an answer. I’ve been completely stressed out since I had the blood drawn this morning. My breathing is erratic and my heartbeat is racing. I’ve already called twice to try to figure out what is going on (normally a nurse from the office calls me back within a few hours with my results), but the first time I had to leave a message, and the second time I talked to someone who told me that they are short-staffed today and that someone would get back to me by the end of the day.
I just want to know now. I want to know if I’m pregnant, or if we’re going to have to try another cycle. My family and friends are awaiting the results also, but I can’t get back to them since I don’t have the information myself. I know I’m going to be very disappointed if I didn’t get pregnant this cycle…and for this reason it’s actually a tad bit of a relief that I haven’t received the results yet (they haven’t told me one way or the other, so there is still a possibility that I could be pregnant). In any case, the waiting is agonizing.
I know that I shouldn’t be stressing out so much – it doesn’t help. It doesn’t accomplish anything. And God doesn’t want me to worry. So I decided to attempt to “get out” how I’m feeling and put it into writing. At least this way I’m keeping my mind busy and being productive.
I believe that God is in control, and that He knows what’s best for Roy and me. If I didn’t get pregnant this cycle we’ll just have to keep trying. The more time that passes, the more difficult and frustrating things will probably get. But I have to keep trusting that my God is good, and that He will work according to His purpose and plan.
In the meantime, would you say a prayer for my Hubby and me? Your support is greatly appreciated. And as always, thanks for reading. ❤