Tag: depression

A Day in the Life

I felt a little down today. It started off with my sleeping through two alarms and not having enough time to make lunch for my Hubby to take to work with him. But he was gracious about it, and I did have enough time to jump in the shower and get ready to begin my work day.

Yes, I’m working now! 🙂 It’s only a few hours a day, but it’s still something. I grade student essays from my computer at home and give them a score based on certain criteria. It makes me think a lot and sometimes gives me a headache, but I’m grateful for the opportunity. I really struggle with working because of my depression, anxiety, and OCD…(with this job I’m having a difficult time with my perfectionism), but I’m trying my best. You can be praying, though, because the job only lasts a month or two…and then I’ll need a new one. Thank you!

The day got a little better after work: I took our dog, Daisy, for a nice walk…it was beautiful outside! I was also able to sit a talk for a few minutes with one of our neighbors. It’s amazing how much a little fresh air can help.

I did some laundry, washed some dishes, and job-searched until my Hubby got home from work. And now it’s time to make dinner and probably watch some TV. Not an overly exciting day, but at least I’m feeling a little better than I was this morning. I’m going to try to get to bed at a decent time so I can start fresh tomorrow morning.

How was YOUR day? Was it good, bad, or somewhere in between? I’d like to hear, so feel free to share in the comments!

Photo Credit: Rawpixel

Dear Depression

Have you ever wanted to reach out to your depression (or anxiety, or any other illness), as if the illness were an actual *thing* that you could speak to and interact with?

I have, sometimes. Depression affects my life so much that I would like to tell it a thing or two about how it makes me feel, and how I will respond to it’s grip on my existence.

So here is a letter that I have written, to my depression.

Dear Depression,

I know you’re there. I can see you at work in my life, causing me to feel lethargic and listless, and like I will never be able to accomplish the tasks that I need to (much less do something that I find pleasure in).

You’re there when I wake up in the morning, and you’re there when I go to sleep at night. But just because you’re there doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight against you with all of my heart.

You want me to stay in bed all day so that I feel guilty and useless…but I’m going to force myself to get up and start the day, and rely on God to face whatever He has ahead. You want me to stay indoors so that I feel isolated and confined…but I’m going to make sure I get outside and feel the sun on my skin, either by walking the dog or taking a short trip in my car. And you want me to have a pessimistic attitude regarding life’s up’s and down’s…but I’m going to speak truth to myself: that even though life is difficult and I am struggling, my Father is with me and I can accomplish anything that he has planned for me to do.

Depression, I really can’t stand you! But for some reason, God has allowed you into my life…and I WILL learn to make the best of it. I will find things to be grateful for. I will take baby steps towards my goals and plans. I will engage in the activities that I used to enjoy – even though I don’t find the same pleasure in them now – because I believe that the Lord can re-ignite my passion for them. He has a purpose for me, and I will do my best to walk in it.

You big, black, ugly cloud of sorrow…you deep, dark, terrifying pit…THANK YOU. Thank you for causing me to rely on God. Thank you for allowing me to experience these heart-wrenching feelings so that I can understand other people who are in a similar situation. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reach out to these people because I can appreciate at least some of what they’re going through.

You may be strong, depression…but you’re not stronger than my God. And while I may always need to fight a battle with you, I will not allow you to win the war. You will be defeated – if not in this lifetime, in the life to come. And while you’re still a part of my life, I want to tell you this:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation [including depression], will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~ Romans 8:38-39

~ Crystal

Photo Credit: Luis Llerena

Peace Begins with a Smile

I’d like to start off by asking, “What makes YOU smile?” Is it nice weather, or a day off from work, or maybe something as simple as your favorite song playing on the radio? Well, that’s the question that I also want to ask of myself today!

What makes me smile?

So here goes…here are thirty things that make me smile.

  1. A well-crafted iced latte
  2. An intriguing book
  3. Capturing a good photograph
  4. Traveling to someplace new
  5. Looking into my Hubby’s baby blue eyes
  6. When my Mom and I call each other on the phone at exactly the same time
  7. When we have our good friends over for dinner on Monday nights
  8. Getting something for cheap, or free!
  9. A good conversation
  10. Get-togethers with my in-laws (there’s always great food and good laughs)
  11. A tasty meal – especially if I didn’t have to cook it 😉
  12. When our pets do something cute
  13. When someone comments on one of my blog posts
  14. Being able to help someone
  15. When my Hubby does a chore without my asking
  16. Knowing I have a God who loves me unconditionally
  17. Writing!
  18. Having a “good hair day”
  19. A soothing cup of tea (add a delicious scone, and it’s even better)
  20. Sliding under the toasty warm covers at bedtime
  21. Meeting someone who struggles with similar issues as I do (it helps me feel like I’m not alone)
  22. When my Hubby and I go over my brother’s apartment for “Movie time”
  23. Finding a good parking spot
  24. Listening to rain pounding on the roof as I fall asleep…thunder is good, too
  25. Going down to my parents’ house for the day
  26. Catching up with a close friend
  27. The smell in our house when I’ve had a crock-pot meal cooking all day
  28. A good hug
  29. The revitalized way I feel after I take a walk and get fresh air
  30. Knowing that I have a purpose and that I have a wonderful adventure ahead of me.

Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed my list! And let me ask you again…what makes YOU smile? Do any of the things that I’ve mentioned make you smile, also?

peace-begins-with-a-smile-quote-2

*I got the idea for this writing prompt from   at Psych Central.

*Featured Photo Credit: Eli Defaria