Tag: gratitude

Lord, Where Are You?

Do you ever get the feeling that you are all alone? Do you ever question whether or not God is with you, even though you know that He is? Do you ever think about the future and instead of feeling optimistic, feel something akin to apathy?

That’s how I feel right now. I feel very “blah.”

I woke up this morning extremely tired. I worked from home for a few hours, drank lots of coffee, ate lunch, and was still tired. I tried my best to get some chores done this afternoon. I went to the grocery store, cleaned up a bit, and paid bills. I even took the dog for a walk. But I never seemed to get that jolt of energy I was seeking.

The Hubby came home, we took some pics outside of the pretty trees and flowers, and I ate dinner. And now I’m writing…with the hope that I can regain my creativity and optimism.

It’s a struggle. Each day is a struggle. But I have so much to be grateful for…I KNOW that I do! I haven’t been doing very well with keeping my gratitude list, so maybe that’s part of the reason why I’m feeling this way. I need to maintain a thankful heart.

So let me think of some things I have to be grateful for: the smell of the air after a rain shower. A nice time with family for Easter. That our handbell choir played well at church. Hot running water to take a shower. Air conditioning to keep us cool in the house. A good walk with Daisy. Bringing my Honey home safely from work.

Wow, when you start to think about it, there really ARE a lot of things to be grateful for. 🙂 You just have to take the time to acknowledge them. And I already feel like my spirit is lifting a little.

I must keep focusing on the positives, on the endless number of things I have to be thankful for. Yes, the depression and anxiety pull me down…but by relying on God’s help I can find a ruby in the rubble.

So where is the Lord when I can’t feel His presence? He is as close as can be. He is with me, He is in me, He is beside me…and He will never leave. ❤

Photo Credit: Aaron Burden

Thankful Thursday (episode 2)

Last week I began a habit that I wanted to continue: focusing on being grateful by recording three things that I’m thankful for each day. Well, I did okay with this, but not great. I tried using an app, the Five Minute Journal, to help me keep track of my gratitude list, but I would forget to write in it! Then a day would pass without my recording anything, and because of my memory loss from ECT (electro-convulsive therapy – it can help with depression), I would forget the things that I was thankful for. *sigh*

But not to fear! I am going to keep trying. The app has the option for sending you reminders, so I’m going to see if that helps me. And if it doesn’t, then maybe I could try keeping a physical journal. I just have to find what works for me. 🙂

Anyway, I WAS able to record a few things that I’m thankful for, so without further ado, here is my list:

  1. A fairly good appointment with my Psychiatrist
  2. Safety while traveling in the rain
  3. The opportunity to bring free drinks and a cookie from Chick-fil-a to Target for Roy’s (my Hubby’s) work break so we could enjoy them together
  4. A nice time at Barnes and Noble with the Hubby
  5. My Mom helped me with picking out a meal for Monday night (our good friends come over to share a meal before our handbell practice)
  6. We had a good time at dinner and handbells (the dinner turned out fine even though I was worried about making it, and we had a profitable rehearsal)
  7. Drinks at Dunkin’ Donuts…woo-hoo!
  8. Mild weather…I was able to take a nice walk with the dog
  9. A beautiful sunset
  10. That God helped me with work, as I wasn’t feeling very well

That’s it for this week! Hopefully I will do better next week with keeping my list. 😉 Thank you for reading! ❤

What Do I Value?

What are the things that I value in life? I was prompted to ask myself this question by one of Janine Ripper’s 23 Insightful Journal Prompts for Self-Reflection.

There are many things that I value, many attributes that are at the core of who I am and who I want to be. But I have listed 5 of my most important values below. I hope that they can be an encouragement to you, and also a reminder to me of those things that truly matter to me in my life.

  1. Faith. I want to love and trust God with all of my heart. I feel like sometimes I do that, and other times I do not. I can let things get in between us – like excessive sleep, a worry that I obsess over, or not being obedient to something the Lord wants me to do. But overall I think I’m trying my best, and I know God sees that. He is gracious, and He will give me the strength to continue to walk with Him through the difficult (and the enjoyable) times.
  2. Empathy (this encompasses love and compassion). I feel that it is very important to try to understand what other people are going through. Sometimes they may be going through a situation that I have never experienced before – and that is difficult because it’s hard to put myself “in their shoes.” But I can listen, and I can be a support to them in their trial. Other times people may be going through a situation that I have also experienced (such as depression or anxiety). That is when I can share with them my sorrows and my joys and all that God is teaching me through them.
  3. Grace. This one I struggle with. I have a hard time being gracious with myself when I mess up (that is my perfectionism rearing it’s ugly head). Because of that, I also have a difficult time being gracious with other people when I feel that they have made a mistake. But here my first value (faith) can help, because I need to remind myself that God is forgiving and gracious towards me, and also rely on Him for the strength to be gracious towards those around me. I know that I can do this with His help!
  4. Honesty. It’s important to me to be honest with myself and with others about who I really am. I find it freeing to share the things that I struggle with and to be open about my flaws. Often this is an encouragement to others to open up about their own shortcomings. By being honest, I can develop strong relationships and have more of an impact on the people around me.
  5. Gratitude (includes positivity). This is something that had been lacking in my life for a while. I was always focused on the negative – always lingering on the less-than-perfect events that occurred. But recently God has been showing me how to find good in the bad…how to be thankful for the little things. It doesn’t come easily to me, but I know that the Lord will continue to help me grow into a person who has a positive perspective in life.

So what did you think of the values I listed? What are 5 of the things that YOU value most?