Tag: inspiration

Surrender

Terrified
Is the way I feel right now
Can’t catch my breath
But I have to somehow
My heart is racing
Can’t slow the beat
My face is flushed
From so much heat
My head is throbbing
From all of the thoughts
That can’t be resolved
Though answers are sought

I’m terrifed. . .

BUT GOD.

I must surrender
All of the unknowns
He has our situation
Completely under control
All our waiting and hoping
Is not lost on God
The prayers and petitions
Have been received with a nod
Whatever the outcome
The Lord knows what’s best
And in the waiting
We have His peace and His rest

I wrote this today after finally receiving a callback from the nurse at our fertility office. I had an ultrasound and bloodwork done this morning, and was waiting with bated breath to find out the results. Before I received the call, we didn’t know if we would even be able to continue with the IVF process.

Thankfully, there is still hope…but there are so many unknowns. My body is not responding to the medicines I’m taking like they had planned. So we’re taking one day at a time, and waiting on God to see what happens. ❤

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Praising in the Valley

I thought I was doing okay.

I just celebrated my birthday with my family. I received some thoughtful gifts. My husband took a few days off to spend time with me.

But it hit today. What hit, you may ask? Depression did.

The force of it overwhelms me at random. It drags me down into its darkness. It pulls me deep into its pit. The depression is always there, but sometimes it hits so hard that it knocks me down and leaves me gasping for air.

Maybe it’s the quiet lull after the birthday celebration that caused it. Or maybe it has to do with my wacky cycle, or the fertility medicines I’m taking. Or it could be from the bad habits that I get myself stuck in. Or a combination of all three! I guess it doesn’t matter, though. It comes when it wants to and stays until it’s ready to move on.

I know that what will NOT help me is wallowing. On the other hand, what WILL help me is praising. Praising God for who He is. For all that He’s done. For His many blessings. It certainly doesn’t come naturally, especially when I feel so low. But I know that praise and gratitude are the answer.

Please, pray that I will praise in the midst of this valley. ❤

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Thankful Thursday – God Carries Our Burdens

I’ve been overwhelmed recently.

Overwhelmed by questions that I don’t have answers to and decisions that we need to make as a family. The future seems so unclear and confusing. We ask God for wisdom, but sometimes no direction is forthcoming. And it all gets wrapped up in a big bundle that I feel on my back, weighing me down.

But God doesn’t want that burden on my back. He wants to take it for me.

Matthew 11:28-30 reads, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

I’ve mentioned these verses before in my writing. It’s a promise that is special to me – however, I don’t often do my part by giving my burdens to the Lord and letting Him carry them for me. I can be a control freak, and letting go of those burdens means letting go of control. But I’m learning that we’re not meant to have that control.

It’s just too much! It’s too much. God never intended for us to be weighed down by burdens to the point of anxiety and even negative physical symptoms. He wants us to take His yoke upon us and let Him do all of the hard work – the lifting, the carrying, the controlling. He promises to gently come alongside us and take the weight, and to teach us the way to go. He will give us rest for our souls.

So today I’m grateful for a God who carries our burdens. And I pray that I will continually surrender the weight of my worries to Him, trusting that He’ll take care of me and our family and our future.

He is good, and He deserves my (and our) heartfelt praise. ❤

Photo by Ryan Jacobson on Unsplash