Tag: mental health

A Hope that Lifts my Head

There is a hope that lifts my weary head,
A consolation strong against despair,
That when the world has plunged me in its deepest pit,
I find the Savior there!
Through present sufferings, furture fears,
He whispers courage in my ear.
For I am safe in everlasting arms,
And they will lead me home.

~ There is a Hope, by Stuart Townend and Mark Edwards

Hope. Sometimes this emotion of confident expectation can feel elusive in our lives. I know that when I am discouraged and feel like I am in a pit of despair, it’s difficult to think about hope. It’s hard to see anything beyond the darkness that I am experiencing.

My mood has been up and down recently – more so down than up. I’m on a new medication to augment the main medicine that I take for treatment-resistant depression. I thought it was helping, but now I am not so sure.

Besides feeling depressed and somewhat hopeless, I’ve been feeling so tired. Just weary. This isn’t new, unfortunately. I’ve been struggling with this for years. It’s like I live my life in a sort of fog, where I can’t quite get a deep breath or a sense of being fully awake and alert.

I need to remind myself that I have so many things to be grateful for! A God who loves me unconditionally, a caring husband, a healthy and happy son, a supportive family, a church where we can grow, to name a few of them. God has also provided a home for us, food to eat, clothing to wear, transportation, and so much more. And yet when I am feeling discouraged, it’s almost like I am blinded to these positive things. I have such a hard time focusing on them!

But as much as it seems like there is not a light at the end of the tunnel, this just isn’t true. There IS hope! An eternal hope that can never be taken away. The hope of my relationship with Jesus Christ, and of all the spiritual blessings that I possess in Him. Although I often feel alone during times like these, the truth is that my Savior is right here with me. Not only is He in this pit with me, but His Spirit lives inside of me! These powerful truths are enough to help me lift my weary head, gaze upon His face, and rest confidently in His everlasting arms.

Photo by James McGill on Unsplash

God Cheers my Soul

“Who rises up for me against the wicked? Who stands up for me against evildoers?

If the LORD had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.

When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul…

The LORD has become my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge.”

Psalm 94:16-19, 22

Last night I wasn’t in a very good place in my mind, and God used the words of this Psalm to calm and encourage me. I hope that if you’re in a tough place right now, these words will cheer your soul also. 💕

Overcoming my Writing Fears

Enjoying a delicious latte at a cute coffee shop in Harrisburg

I was convicted the other day about how unfaithful I have been with using the gifts and abilities that God has given me.

I love to write, but I procrastinate and make excuses – because I’m afraid.

Afraid that no one will like what I write. Afraid that my writing won’t be any good. Afraid that it won’t be helpful to anyone – that it just won’t “click” with people. Afraid that it won’t be the “perfect” post that I’m so driven to create.

I’m also afraid of what other people will think and say about my writing. Will they laugh at me? Will they think I’m a joke? Will they be upset or offended that I’m trying to share my struggles with mental health? With motherhood? With my faith?

God, forgive me for fearing man above you! Forgive me for not being a faithful steward of the abilities that You’ve given me – for wasting Your gifts instead of using them for Your glory. Forgive me for doubting Your calling, for second-guessing myself, for putting off writing (and other tasks) because I’m too scared, for thinking that this gift of writing isn’t “as good as” others’ gifts – even though I believe my gift is from you.

Help me, Father! Help me to have the energy and motivation to write. To share freely with others the lessons that You are teaching me. To recount the little victories that You give me as I trust in You and obey You each day.

Several weeks ago I found an old Christmas card from several of our friends who live far away. It was an encouragement to read it again! And the most encouraging (and motivating) part was the note from one of these friends sharing that they enjoyed my blog posts, and that they had really connected with them. That my writing helped them not to feel so alone. That they felt heard and understood.

Isn’t this a good enough reason to continue writing?

Motivate me each day, Lord, to offer this gift to you, and to allow You to use it (and me) as You see fit. I love you, Daddy!

Your Beloved Daughter,

Crystal