I’ve struggled with doubt for as long as I can remember.
At first I struggled with doubt about my salvation/my relationship with God. I prayed over and over again to ask Jesus to come into my life, but then I questioned if I had prayed “correctly.” Ironically, after this uncertainty, I would worry that I had relied on “works” to save me instead of God (by trying to pray in a “perfect” manner). Needless to say, there were many times when these thoughts induced a frenzy of anxiety and fear – often coupled with headaches and tears.
Thankfully, I don’t struggle with this particular doubt any longer, as I have realized that God isn’t like that. He doesn’t require perfection from me. He wants me to trust Him and rely on Him.
Did that make any sense? Have you ever had thoughts similar to this? (It’s okay to think “no”) 😉
I know that a lot of it is my Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The OCD is what ignites the insatiable desire to perform tasks “perfectly” and to think “correctly.” But I also know that this isn’t what is required of me. I just need a way to switch over from my OCD thoughts to healthy thoughts.
What thoughts does God want me to think on when I’m feeling doubtful and perfectionistic? What are the words that I need to hear and believe?
- I am loved (John 3:16).
- I am strong in God’s strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
- I am forgiven (1 John 1:9).
- I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
- I am unique (Isaiah 64:8).
- I am skilled (1 Peter 4:10).
- I have the ability to accomplish everything God has called me to do. (Philippians 4:13).
- I am enough (1 Corinthians 3:16).
These are just a few affirmations that I want to remember when I’m struggling with doubt. And I still do struggle with it. I doubt my abilities, I doubt my worth, I doubt the quality of tasks that I complete – to name a few.
But I have to remind myself of the truth – let it wash over my mind. God is speaking the words I long to hear…I just need to listen. ❤
P.S. Thank you for reading…I know that my struggles are a little strange, but I wanted to be open and honest about them in the hopes that I can be of help to someone else.
Knees to the Earth 
You are doing so much better & thinking along the right lines. Just know you are SPECIAL & LOVED
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Thank you, Mom Mom! Yes, God has helped me to take baby steps in the right direction. Love you!
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Hey crystal, seem like we have similar struggles, perfectionism. Thank you so much for your sharing always. I am learning to once again rely on God and seek for Him to heal my depression. Your blog encourages me a lot and at the same time, I don’t feel alone because I know someone outside is struggling the same like I do. It is tough but thank you so much for everything. Let’s be strong together!
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Thank you so much for your comment, Senny! I’m really happy that my posts have been able to encourage you. I understand about feeling alone many times and thinking that no one else understands…but it’s great to be able to read each other’s posts and know that there are other people who struggle with the same things. Thanks again for your comment, and yes, let’s be strong together! 😀
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