There have often been times in my life when I’ve struggled with “gray areas” – areas in which there is some form of confusion, debate, or uncertainty. One of those areas has been with mental illness.
I grew up learning the Christian faith. I went to a Christian grade school, a Christian high school, and a Christian college. I went to church almost every week. And when I was quite young I trusted Jesus to be my Savior from sin. Little did I know how much I would need Him as the years went by.
I’d always been an anxious person, but in my teens it got out of control. Not only was I extremely anxious, I was obsessing about minuscule things. I also struggled with low energy and motivation, and I was often down about the instability of key relationships in my life. Finally, I was diagnosed with anxiety, OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), and depression.
But that was only the beginning of a long journey. It was difficult for me to understand how God would allow this into my life. Didn’t He love me? And if I were trusting in Him, shouldn’t I be able to overcome these difficulties? Being very familiar with Biblical teachings, I knew that I wasn’t supposed to be anxious. And I wasn’t supposed to be downcast. So what was wrong with me?!
I still don’t have all of the answers. I just know that God, in His wisdom, allowed these difficulties into my life. He’s helping me every day to rely on Him for strength and grace to trust Him and to focus on the blessings that He gives me. It’s definitely a process…baby steps! And while I may not have all of the answers for this gray area, I do know that my God is bigger than it and that He will enable me to obey Him moment by moment.
Have you ever struggled with this gray area? Or is there another gray area that you would like to share? Please feel free to leave a comment! ❤
Knees to the Earth 
Hi Crystal! I’ve also struggled with anxiety all of my life. Unfortunately, it’s been a battle that was passed down from my mom’s side of the family and I hope and pray that I am able to prevent from passing it on to my future children!
I love how honest you are in your post. I have seen in my life that in times when things aren’t clear, clinging to God has been the only thing to keep me going and secure. When asking for certainty and God doesn’t allow it to come, it can be frustrating. It’s definitely comforting to know that He has a purpose for all that He allows to happen in our lives and that He will be faithful throughout it all.
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Hi Celina! Thank you so much for your comment, and for sharing about your struggle with anxiety. It is not an easy battle. But you’re right, knowing that our God is there to guide and direct us – even if He doesn’t give us all of the answers that we want – is what can get us through day by day. He is faithful. Thanks again for reaching out! I look forward to reading some of your posts.
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Thanks for sharing. I’ve also struggled with OCD and anxiety for most of my adult life. Mental illnesses truly are hard to understand in light of scripture. Do we have a mental illness or is there something we are doing wrong spiritually that is causing our mental struggles? I love what you said: “I still don’t have all of the answers. I just know that God, in His wisdom, allowed these difficulties into my life. He’s helping me every day to rely on Him for strength and grace to trust Him.” That’s exactly how I feel. My OCD and anxiety has been the way that he has caused me to rely on him for everything, even the ability to rely on him. Our greatest weakness and source of pain, has become our source of greatest strength in God. How amazing that he works that way! We thought our pain was something that was hurting us, but it is what he’s used to draw us closer to himself.
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Thank you for your comment, Joseph! You’re right – God uses our greatest weaknesses to cause us to rely on Himself. The difficult part for us is trying to view our trials as blessings in disguise, when all we want is for them to go away. It’s a day by day battle…but thank God we can take baby steps. 🙂
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I have so many gray areas there isn’t enough room to list them. I have to just keep taking one day at a time, one step at a time, and trust that some day I will understand the gray areas…..and keep praying a lot.
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Yes, baby steps! And definitely lots of prayer. And hopefully we’ll gain more wisdom and understanding each day. ❤️
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I love the gray areas in life that open our eyes up to God’s grace and wisdom! Great post!
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Sheridan! And you’re right – gray areas may be difficult to deal with sometimes, but they cause us to look to God for wisdom and understanding. Thanks again for your comment!
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