Category: Growth

Stone of Remembrance

This morning, after speaking to my Mother and then reading a devotional from Our Daily Bread, I was challenged to remember. Remember what God has brought me through; the battles He has already helped me overcome; the times that I so strongly wanted to give up, and yet God enabled me to keep going.

It’s so easy to forget those times.

It’s so easy to continue through life from one day to the next, focusing on our present difficulties and not taking the time to remember the victories that God has already accomplished in our lives.

But it’s in remembering that we gain the strength to push past our present difficulties and move forward.

After I completed a 12 week mental health program in September of this year, my small group held a little ceremony, and I was given the opportunity to choose a stone from a box. A stone that would help me to remember the time that I had spent in the program, and all that I had learned. It was meant to be a physical representation of this time in my life: of the struggles I faced, the hard work and effort I put into my recovery, the relationships that I built with my doctor, therapists, and group members–of the fact that I had reached the end of this specific journey and was now moving on to the next.

God has always been there for me. He has never let me down. Yes, there were–and still are–many times when I feel like I won’t be able to get through whatever it is I’m struggling with. Times when I prayed and prayed, yet felt like I received no clear answer from God. Times when I even doubted God, or got angry with Him, because it seemed like He wasn’t there, wasn’t helping me.

But the truth was–and IS–that God is there. He is with me. He is guiding me, strengthening me, encouraging me. Giving me the insight and wisdom that I need to make life decisions. Giving me the grace and mercy that I need when I mess up (and there are so many times that I mess up)! Giving me the understanding, acceptance, and compassion that I deeply long for, when I feel alone and misunderstood.

He is there for YOU today.

Take a moment to review your past experiences and to remember the difficulties that God has brought you through. There are most likely many circumstances that He has helped you to overcome! That same God–the God who helped you in times past–is with you today. And He will help you face the challenges of tomorrow. ❤

The Perfectionism Monster

Scared. Out. Of. My. Mind. That’s how I was feeling regarding our church hand-bell rehearsal yesterday. We will be playing for the first time during our church’s morning services this upcoming Sunday, and I was not feeling ready–at all.

A lot of it has to do with my perfectionism. I am a self-proclaimed perfectionist; and not proud of it! 🙂 I have a deep yearning to meet all expectations, please every person that I come in contact with, excel at every opportunity that I undertake, and never, EVER, make a mistake.

I believe that at least some of my desire for perfection stems from my struggles with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Another part of it could spring from incidences in my past which made me feel un-loved.

Maybe you can empathize with me? With the craving to have all things work out just as planned? It’s like I want everything wrapped up with a neat little ribbon before being introduced into my life. How far from reality this expectation really is!

But how to combat it? It seems to infiltrate every aspect of my being. I try to fight it, but it only seems to grow stronger–like a cookie-monster whose acquisition of cookies does not satiate him, like it should, but only causes his desire for cookies to grow.

cookie-monster

The only way that I know to counteract this natural tendency of mine is to kill it with grace. Yes, God wants us to be “perfect,” (or complete) and “holy,” (or set apart from sin). But He also knows that this is a process, and that it is not something that happens overnight!

I (and all followers of Christ) are in the process of being sanctified–or being transformed, moment-by-moment, into the image of Jesus. This is accomplished through reading God’s Word, through prayer, through fellowship with other believers, through service to others, through trials…and any other number of things. I believe that what’s important is not so much how “perfect” we are, but how surrendered to Him we are willing to be. Because the truth about perfection is that Jesus Christ is the only perfect Being, and He is the only One who can do this work of change in our lives.

But back to killing perfectionism with grace. A chapter of Scripture that has really changed my life and my viewpoint of God is Psalm 103. I would encourage you to read the entire chapter, and you can do that here. But I will share with you a few of my favorite verses from this passage.

8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful,
    slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love…

11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
    is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
12 He has removed our sins as far from us
    as the east is from the west.
13 The Lord is like a father to his children,
    tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
14 For he knows how weak we are;
    he remembers we are only dust.

God understands us! He considers Himself our Father, and we His children.

Lord, help us to remember how much you love us when we are attacked by the “perfectionism monster!”

perfectionism

P.S. My hand-bell practice went a lot better than I expected, thank the Lord! 🙂 It seems that when I relax and breathe, I’m able to think more clearly, enjoy what I’m doing more, and just focus on doing my best for my Savior!

Photo credit (for cookie monster): Unknown

Complete Surrender

It’s a profound prayer of the heart–completely surrendering oneself to God. I heard the song “Completely” by Among the Thirsty on the radio the other day, and it has been running through my mind ever since. I can’t help but relate to the honesty of the lyrics and the urgency of the cry. As you read the words and/or listen to the song, allow the Lord to speak to your heart and to draw you closely to Himself in complete surrender.

I’m feeling so small
Standing here weeping
As I’m coming clean
Of the secrets I’m keeping
I’ve caused so much pain
To the ones I love the most
And I’m falling apart
As I carry my heart to Your throne

I am completely surrendering
Finally giving You everything
You’re my redeemer, I run to the cross
Because You are more than enough
Lord complete me
Cause I’m Yours completely

I’m letting go
There’s nothing I own
The treasures I held
Just weighed down my soul
And there’s nothing left
Inside of me
But a longing for You
And a longing to be the man that You need

I am completely surrendering
Finally giving You everything
You’re my redeemer, I run to the cross
Because You are more than enough
Lord complete me
Cause I’m Yours completely

I let Your gifts take the place of you
But You pulled up my selfishness from it’s roots
I am a broken and fragile me
But I’m where You want me to be

I am completely surrendering
Finally giving You everything
You’re my redeemer, I run to the cross
Because You are more than enough
Lord complete me
Cause I’m Yours completely
Lord complete me
Cause I’m Yours completely

–“Completely,” by Among the Thirsty