Category: Mental Health

Forward Progress

It’s been a while since I’ve really shared about the specific circumstances going on in my life. Thankfully, right now, there seems to be forward progress.

First of all, things have moved ahead in my attempt to get help from the DVRS. They are going to fund my going back to school! I will be attending an Institute where I will study Microsoft Office applications along with Quickbooks software. My goal is to get a job working at a small store (preferably an art store), assisting them with their financial records. My first day of class is actually this upcoming Monday! I am nervous and excited at the same time. I’m hoping that I will be able to keep up with the pace of learning and to comprehend the material. Prayers are much appreciated! 🙂

Secondly, I’ve started a little side business with Steeped Tea, a company that originated in Canada and has now moved to the US as well. Steeped Tea sells delicious loose leaf teas along with adorable tea accessories – and I have the opportunity to share these products with my friends and family. I have to say, it’s been a challenge with my social anxiety, but I am taking it day by day. I’m hosting an “Online Party” right now, and hope to hold an in-home party sometime soon, so that people are able to taste the teas and learn more about their health benefits. If you enjoy tea and would like to learn more, I would LOVE for you to visit my personal Steeped Tea website, A Heart for Tea. Here you will be able to view an online catalog, get to know more about this wonderful company, and make a purchase if you see something that you like!

A third area in which I have made positive strides is my involvement in the Handbell Choir at my church. At first I was SO anxious and perfectionistic, making it quite difficult to enjoy the actual art of making music. But God has been teaching me to let go of the desire to not make any mistakes, and to try to focus on having fun. It is not easy, and I do not always succeed – but I am doing better, and for that I am thankful.

The point of this post is to share my gratefulness to God for answering my prayers and for giving me some forward direction. It’s been a long struggle, but my Lord is faithful – and He is unfolding His plan for me little by little.

Be encouraged! Even if you feel “stuck” where you are right now, change could be right around the corner. ❤

Photo Credit: Amanda Sandlin

It’s Cold Inside

It’s been cold inside my heart for the past week or so. I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety, a lot of doubt, a lot of perfectionism…just a discouraging time. On one hand, I know the Truth of what God says, but on the other hand, I’m having a difficult time believing it.

At two points during the past several days, I’ve been so anxious that I’ve had to actually write out a list of all the things I was anxious about, just to get them “out of my head” so I could try to go to sleep. Thankfully, I feel better after doing this – and I always try to end with reminding myself of the positives and the promises of God. Somehow this keeps me going.

For example, one night I wrote out my list of worries, and then asked myself, “Why am I worrying so much about all of this?” I answered myself:

  • I’m not trusting God.
  • I want to be in control.
  • I want things to go perfectly.
  • I don’t want to fail.
  • I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

But then I countered myself with these truths:

  • I put my trust in You, God. I let go!
  • God is in control – not I.
  • There is no perfect on this earth. God knows that I am only human, and He gives me grace.
  • God allows me to fail. I can learn from it.
  • I am not here to please _________, or anyone else. I am here to please God!

A verse that encouraged me at this time was Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT) – “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Then another night I was worried about something else, and how things weren’t going as I had hoped. But again, I tried to encourage myself with truths:

  • God led me into this.
  • I prayed about it.
  • I asked for wisdom.
  • God opened doors.
  • Maybe He wants me to grow through this.
  • Maybe He wants me to rely on Him!
  • Faithful is He who called me, who also will do it.
  • I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
  • It is God who works in me both to will (to WANT to do) and to do (to accomplish) His good pleasure.
  • God is my Helper, and He will not leave me or forsake me.
  • I AM RIGHT WHERE GOD WANTS ME TO BE!

The hardest part is that I feel like no one understands. People try, but they just don’t struggle with the same things. Truthfully, however, no one can fully understand someone else. The ONLY Person who can COMPLETELY understand me and each and every person is Jesus Christ.

“For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” ~ Hebrews 4:15 (ESV)

PRAISE GOD that He understands! Sometimes it is just this knowledge that gets me through. ❤

What Drives Your Life?

I’ve been reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren for the past several weeks. I’ve read the book before, but it’s such a great book that it merits re-reading. 🙂

Last night I began perusing a Chapter entitled “What Drives Your Life?” It states that there are hundreds of things that could be driving your life – but it also lists five of the “most common” driving forces.

  1. Guilt
  2. Resentment and Anger
  3. Fear
  4. Materialism
  5. The Need for Approval

Unfortunately, I would have to admit that my life can be driven by all of these things at certain times. But the driving force that hit me the hardest was “Fear.”

Many people are driven by fear. Their fears may be a result of a traumatic experience, unrealistic expectations, growing up in a high-control home, or even genetic predisposition. Regardless of the cause, fear-driven people often miss great opportunities because they’re afraid to venture out. Instead they play it safe, avoiding risks and trying to maintain the status quo.

Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be. You must move against it with the weapons of faith and love. The Bible says, ‘Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life – fear of death, fear of judgment – is one not yet fully formed in love.’

I am so often driven by fear. I let it hold me back, let it cripple me, let it keep me from taking the next step.

Sometimes I feel that the Lord wants me to do something for Him, but I’m afraid to move forward in faith. Unfortunately, I miss the blessing that comes with being obedient.

What are you afraid of today? Is it progressing with a business venture (I’m having trouble with this, myself)? Returning to school or taking an educational course? Trying a new hobby or embarking on a new adventure?

Don’t let fear hold you back. Look to God, and rely on Him to help you take those “baby steps” forward. It’s the only way to beat this driving force!

Blessings to you today. ❤

Photo Credit: David Marcu