Tag: anxiety

A New Journey

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written.

It’s not that things haven’t been going on – on the contrary. I’m actually not quite sure why I haven’t sat down to write a post in so long. I think it just didn’t feel like the right time.

But I want to apologize for not keeping you up-to-date. I hope you can forgive me!

Again, I want to say thank you to all of those who have been supporting my husband, Roy, and me through our struggle with infertility. The thoughts, prayers, and kind words have been so encouraging! As I hope you know from my post on Facebook in February, the Lord enabled me to conceive through IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) this past year. Our baby boy is due August 15th of 2020!

Pregnancy has been interesting so far. It’s joyful, scary, amazing, and overwhelming! I’ve struggled with tiredness, an extreme lack of energy, nausea, lack of appetite, constipation, smells that make me sick, and frequent UTI’s, among other things. But it’s all a part of the journey – a beautiful new journey that God has prepared for us…and we are so excited and grateful!

My depression, anxiety, and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) have continued throughout my pregnancy, and I’m still struggling a lot with insomnia. It’s been tricky to try to handle these issues while remaining on as little medicine as possible for the baby’s sake – but the Lord has been faithful. He has provided me with a new psychiatrist who has experience working with pregnant women, as well as an OB who is extremely wise and kind. Along with support from my husband, family, and friends, I have been getting through. And I’ve been learning to lean on God all the more.

What has been going on in your lives? What has the Lord been teaching you recently? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments. And as always, thanks for reading! ❤

Photo by Boris Smokrovic on Unsplash

Surrender

Terrified
Is the way I feel right now
Can’t catch my breath
But I have to somehow
My heart is racing
Can’t slow the beat
My face is flushed
From so much heat
My head is throbbing
From all of the thoughts
That can’t be resolved
Though answers are sought

I’m terrifed. . .

BUT GOD.

I must surrender
All of the unknowns
He has our situation
Completely under control
All our waiting and hoping
Is not lost on God
The prayers and petitions
Have been received with a nod
Whatever the outcome
The Lord knows what’s best
And in the waiting
We have His peace and His rest

I wrote this today after finally receiving a callback from the nurse at our fertility office. I had an ultrasound and bloodwork done this morning, and was waiting with bated breath to find out the results. Before I received the call, we didn’t know if we would even be able to continue with the IVF process.

Thankfully, there is still hope…but there are so many unknowns. My body is not responding to the medicines I’m taking like they had planned. So we’re taking one day at a time, and waiting on God to see what happens. ❤

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Thankful Thursday – God Carries Our Burdens

I’ve been overwhelmed recently.

Overwhelmed by questions that I don’t have answers to and decisions that we need to make as a family. The future seems so unclear and confusing. We ask God for wisdom, but sometimes no direction is forthcoming. And it all gets wrapped up in a big bundle that I feel on my back, weighing me down.

But God doesn’t want that burden on my back. He wants to take it for me.

Matthew 11:28-30 reads, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

I’ve mentioned these verses before in my writing. It’s a promise that is special to me – however, I don’t often do my part by giving my burdens to the Lord and letting Him carry them for me. I can be a control freak, and letting go of those burdens means letting go of control. But I’m learning that we’re not meant to have that control.

It’s just too much! It’s too much. God never intended for us to be weighed down by burdens to the point of anxiety and even negative physical symptoms. He wants us to take His yoke upon us and let Him do all of the hard work – the lifting, the carrying, the controlling. He promises to gently come alongside us and take the weight, and to teach us the way to go. He will give us rest for our souls.

So today I’m grateful for a God who carries our burdens. And I pray that I will continually surrender the weight of my worries to Him, trusting that He’ll take care of me and our family and our future.

He is good, and He deserves my (and our) heartfelt praise. ❤

Photo by Ryan Jacobson on Unsplash