Tag: Christianity

Even If You Don’t

There is a song called “Even If,” by MercyMe, that sums up what I’m feeling right now. You can listen to the song here. The chorus of the song goes like this:

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

I don’t know why this deep depression and overwhelming anxiety have been allowed into my life. I certainly don’t want them. I hate them. And it seems no matter how hard I fight, they’re always there waiting for me.

This weekend was supposed to an opportunity for my Hubby and me to accomplish some things around the house, as well as spend some quality time together. Well, all I wanted to do was sleep. Sleeping is my escape mechanism – when I’m sleeping, I don’t have to deal with life. I feel the cloud of depression suffocating me…so I lay down, and shut my mind off. But I know that this isn’t right.

Something else I know is that God – if it were His will – could take away these trials in a moment. And yet He doesn’t. He chooses to allow the depression and anxiety in my life. Why? I’m not certain. But I have to trust that He will bring something good out of it, as is stated in Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I must continue to fight my way out of this pit! I can’t give in to this desire to sleep all of the time. I have to keep finding things to be grateful for, and maintain a positive perspective. I need to have faith that God has a purpose in all of this! I must put my hope in Him alone.

What is it that you’re going through right now? Have you sought to put your hope in God alone, no matter how He chooses to work (or not work)?

Photo Credit: Cristian Newman

Thankful Thursday (episode 8)

Being thankful is difficult sometimes. I missed sharing my gratitude list last week, as I still have been feeling very low. But God has somehow continued to bring to mind things that I can be thankful for.

I may not “feel” grateful, but I am trying to offer praise to God anyhow…and I believe the feeling will come later. So here is my gratitude list from the past two weeks.

  • Roy received good news that his college application fee will be waived and that he has fewer credits to complete than he thought to get his Bachelor’s degree.
  • God providing for all of my needs.
  • I had a nice conversation with a friend who understands what I’m going through.
  • My Hubby did the dishes for me!
  • We played handbells well for Music Appreciation Day at church.
  • Roy and I were able to relax together in the afternoon.
  • The Hubby and I used a gift card to go to Cracker Barrel for dinner! *yum*
  • A good night’s rest.
  • That I have hands to wash dishes with.
  • I got my hair cut and it turned out great. 🙂
  • I accomplished some chores, even though I didn’t feel like it.
  • Roy and I celebrated five years of marriage. ❤
  • We went to a wine tasting and really enjoyed it.
  • We shared a nice time with our families.
  • Safety and fun traveling to Wissahickon Park.
  • My Hubby vacuumed the house for me.
  • The smell of honeysuckle in our backyard.

I hope that everyone is having a good week. And whatever it is you may be going through…know that God’s got you (I tell myself this often). Also, try to find small things to be grateful for (I’m working on this too). ❤

Photo Credit: Crystal Knauss

A Sacrifice of Praise

I’ve been feeling very depressed over the past week or so. I can’t seem to pinpoint exactly what is the cause – I just know that I want to sleep all of the time, that I don’t feel like doing any kind of activities (including writing), and that I’m having a difficult time being grateful.

But does the fact that I’m feeling the way that I do mean that I don’t need to be grateful? I don’t think so.

What I need to do is offer a sacrifice of praise to my Father God (Hebrews 13:15). In this time of difficulty – even more so than when things are going well – it’s important that I focus on the many things that I have to be thankful for. Am I struggling to see the good things? Yes. But I have to believe that God will help me to change my perspective.

What is it that you’re going through that is making it difficult to offer a sacrifice of praise? And will you choose to give praise in the midst of the struggle?

Photo Credit: Ben White