Tag: hope

Hope for Tomorrow

“My body is broken.”

I couldn’t help but think this as I left the fertility center for the second time today.

I had gotten blood-work done in the morning, and within a few hours had received the news that I was not pregnant. Then I was required to return to the center in the afternoon for an endometrial scratch, which can help with implantation during my next cycle.

As I drove away from the office, my eyes welled up with tears.

I haven’t really cried very much throughout this process…but today it came through. It seems that no matter what medicines or shots I take to try to help, it just doesn’t work.

My husband is discouraged, too. He brought up the possibility of adoption again…but I told him that if these next few IUI (IntraUterine Insemination) cycles don’t work, we can hopefully try IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).

It’s our last option for trying to conceive.

Well, I shouldn’t say “our last option.” God has the situation under control, and He could enable us to conceive at any time. We want what He wants, and will continue to pray accordingly.

But the waiting IS hard. The uncertainty. The negative pregnancy tests. These things are difficult to experience, but they are not enough to break our hope.

The Lord will always accomplish His perfect plan in our lives. For this reason, we keep going. Keep praying. Keep trusting. God will waste no part of our journey – and this brings us hope for tomorrow. ❤

Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

He is Always There

Floating along in a sea of people,
I feel all alone;

For though there are many faces,
By them I’m not known.

I smile, and speak, and gesture –
But nobody cares.

They gaze in my direction
But it’s just a blank stare.

This time of year is supposed to be
Merry and bright…

But all I can feel is an ache
That won’t pass with the night.

Thank God for Jesus, the One
Who is always there;

He brings peace when I’m fretful
And joy when I’m full of despair.

 

I apologize for the disheartening nature of this poem…but it’s how I’m feeling right now, and I wanted to be real about it. There is a light, however, in the darkness: Jesus, the Son of God, Who came to earth to give us abundant life – both now and throughout eternity. With Him, I (and you) will never be alone. ❤

 

Photo by Kleiton Silva on Unsplash

Hope Mixed with Uncertainty

My husband, Roy, and I underwent a second IUI (IntraUterine Insemination) procedure earlier today. We’re praying that it will be successful and that I will become pregnant, but there is a lot of uncertainty and doubt. We won’t find out if the procedure was effective for two weeks. And those two weeks of waiting will most certainly be difficult ones.

A second IUI. A second assisted attempt at becoming pregnant. A second opportunity for hope…but also a second possibility for failure.

I know that this is only our second try with the help of a fertility specialist. I know that there are many people who have struggled for long periods of time attempting to get pregnant. And I know that years ago you were required to wait much longer to discern if you were pregnant. But somehow that knowledge does not substantially ease the anxiety and uncertainty of the waiting. I must strive each moment to be grateful. And I must repeatedly remind myself that this process is in God’s hands, and that He will accomplish His perfect will. In the end, that is what I need to be seeking…even more than desiring to have a child.

So, imbued with the Lord’s strength, we will wait, and hope, and trust – even in the midst of the uncertainty.

Is there something that you are waiting and hoping and praying for? Is there a certain relationship/dream/situation that you’re having difficulty relinquishing to God – so that you can rest in His perfect plan and timing? I’d love to hear your story. Please feel free to share in the comments section. And thanks so much for reading! ❤

 

Photo by Jurica Koletić on Unsplash