Tag: OCD

The Joy Dare – Three Old Things Seen New

Sometimes it’s difficult to change our perspective and to see “old things” through “new eyes.” But that was my dare for yesterday, and God provided three things that I needed to see in a new way!

  1. Perceiving “Small Stuff” for What it Is – I worry about little things. I don’t know why…maybe it’s a part of my perfectionism and OCD. But God showed me (and I’m sure that He will need to continue to show me) that He’s got them under control. If He has the BIG things in His hands – like the operation of the entire universe – I should think that He can take care of a few details in my life. As my wise Grandmom always tells me, “Don’t sweat the small stuff!”
  2. Starting with a Clean Slate – It was another one of those days where I poked my head outside in the early morning and was blessed to see the sunrise in the distance. It reminded me of how my old sins from the previous day had been completely washed away by my Savior. With the new morning came new mercies, and also a new opportunity to rely on God to obey Him.
  3. Being Re-Inspired by a Familiar Verse – 1 Peter 5:7 has always been a favorite Scripture of mine: “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (NKJV). But as I was reading a selection from 31 Days of Praise, I encountered a different version of the verse. It read: “You can throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon him, for you are his personal concern” (PHILLIPS). This just clicked with me. I could give the entire weight of my worries to God, because my well-being matters to Him. When someone or something is your personal concern, it means that everything that happens to that person or thing is important to you. So every single situation that concerns me concerns God – and I can trust Him with each one!

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

Henry Miller

Photo Credit: Bjorn Simon

The Perfectionism Monster

Scared. Out. Of. My. Mind. That’s how I was feeling regarding our church hand-bell rehearsal yesterday. We will be playing for the first time during our church’s morning services this upcoming Sunday, and I was not feeling ready–at all.

A lot of it has to do with my perfectionism. I am a self-proclaimed perfectionist; and not proud of it! 🙂 I have a deep yearning to meet all expectations, please every person that I come in contact with, excel at every opportunity that I undertake, and never, EVER, make a mistake.

I believe that at least some of my desire for perfection stems from my struggles with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Another part of it could spring from incidences in my past which made me feel un-loved.

Maybe you can empathize with me? With the craving to have all things work out just as planned? It’s like I want everything wrapped up with a neat little ribbon before being introduced into my life. How far from reality this expectation really is!

But how to combat it? It seems to infiltrate every aspect of my being. I try to fight it, but it only seems to grow stronger–like a cookie-monster whose acquisition of cookies does not satiate him, like it should, but only causes his desire for cookies to grow.

cookie-monster

The only way that I know to counteract this natural tendency of mine is to kill it with grace. Yes, God wants us to be “perfect,” (or complete) and “holy,” (or set apart from sin). But He also knows that this is a process, and that it is not something that happens overnight!

I (and all followers of Christ) are in the process of being sanctified–or being transformed, moment-by-moment, into the image of Jesus. This is accomplished through reading God’s Word, through prayer, through fellowship with other believers, through service to others, through trials…and any other number of things. I believe that what’s important is not so much how “perfect” we are, but how surrendered to Him we are willing to be. Because the truth about perfection is that Jesus Christ is the only perfect Being, and He is the only One who can do this work of change in our lives.

But back to killing perfectionism with grace. A chapter of Scripture that has really changed my life and my viewpoint of God is Psalm 103. I would encourage you to read the entire chapter, and you can do that here. But I will share with you a few of my favorite verses from this passage.

8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful,
    slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love…

11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
    is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
12 He has removed our sins as far from us
    as the east is from the west.
13 The Lord is like a father to his children,
    tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
14 For he knows how weak we are;
    he remembers we are only dust.

God understands us! He considers Himself our Father, and we His children.

Lord, help us to remember how much you love us when we are attacked by the “perfectionism monster!”

perfectionism

P.S. My hand-bell practice went a lot better than I expected, thank the Lord! 🙂 It seems that when I relax and breathe, I’m able to think more clearly, enjoy what I’m doing more, and just focus on doing my best for my Savior!

Photo credit (for cookie monster): Unknown

12 Nuggets of Wisdom from My Experience with Mental Illness: Part 2

a-shard-of-light

Do you struggle with a mental illness or know someone who does? Please find below the remaining “nuggets of wisdom” that I have learned in my own struggle with OCD, anxiety, and depression. Also feel free to pass them along! 🙂 (If you missed 12 Nuggets of Wisdom from My Experience with Mental Illness: Part 1, you can view it by clicking on the link).

  • Locate and make use of the resources available to you. There is help out there for your struggle with mental illness. See if there is an employee assistance program where you (or your spouse) works that could provide you with free counseling. I have taken advantage of this opportunity, and it has very much helped me take steps forward in my recovery. If you are struggling with acquiring or keeping a job, look into government options such as temporary disability or permanent disability. Note: this type of help does not often come easily and will probably take a lot of time and effort on your part–but be persistent, and do whatever it takes to get the financial help that you need. There is also an organization called the Community Health Law Project in New Jersey that offers free or low cost legal advice and assistance. Check to see if a similar organization exists in your area. If you desire to work but need support and/or training throughout the process, try looking into a DVR (Division of Vocational Rehabilitation) located near you.
  • Medication management is paramount. One of the most difficult things about dealing with a mental illness is finding the right medication regimen for YOU. Unfortunately, the medications that treat some mental illnesses (like depression and OCD) can take six to eight weeks until you receive the full effects of their benefits. Also, there are side effects with almost every medication, and it is difficult to deal with these and to establish if the benefits of the medication outweigh the side effects. It’s important to never go off of your medication or make dosage changes without the assistance of your psychiatrist. Just because you’re feeling better does not mean you can go off of your medication. It may just mean that the medication is working!
  • Fight depression by taking steps forward–even when you don’t feel like it. When you have depression, a common symptom is that you lose interest in activities that you would normally enjoy. What have I learned to combat this? Do the activities anyhow! You most likely will not feel the same satisfaction while completing the activity–at first. In my own experience, however, if I have been persistent about involving myself in these activities again, the passion and enjoyment that I used to gain from them have begun to return. Try it and see if it may help YOU! 🙂
  • Remain as positive-minded as you possibly can. The mindset with which you battle your mental illness is very important. For example, when I first began my behavioral health program, I was very uncertain if the group therapy that comprised two hours of my day would help me at all. I had only been exposed to individual therapy in the past, and I was doubtful that one therapist in a room full of people would be able to help me with my problems. But I tried to refrain from negative and/or distorted thinking, and soon learned that the group therapy WAS helping me–a lot!
  • Keep a journal or some kind of written record of your recovery process. Maybe it’s just me, but writing down my struggles and the solutions that I learn to combat those struggles is extremely profitable. Not only does it help me to reinforce what I have learned, but also to remember what I have learned. Another benefit of keeping a journal is that you are then able to return to those pages during difficult times and be encouraged by how far you have come.
  • Rely on God for the moment-by-moment strength you need to keep moving forward. It’s easy to feel like our maladies are insurmountable; but this is very far from the truth! If you know the Lord as Savior, you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you to be your Helper, your Father, your Friend, your Prince of Peace, and everything you will ever need. Lean on Him and watch in wonder as He infuses you with His own strength and brings glory to His name.