Tag: sleep

Only a Dream

Okay. So it’s the wee hours of the morning, and I can’t sleep. Yesterday is now technically today–and it’s waaaaaay too early to be ushering in a new day.

I’m sitting here at my computer, nibbling on miniature Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and wondering what my deal is.

It could be my mind, which did seem to be wandering a lot as I was laying in bed. It could be the tea that I sipped on before settling in; but it was decaf! And please, no, don’t let it be the tea! It was so warm and yummy, and I don’t want to give that nighttime ritual up. It could be the increase in a medication that I’m taking, but it’s been several weeks now since the change in dosage, and it shouldn’t still be affecting me.

So again, I ask myself: What’s my deal?

The truth is that I don’t know, and that I haven’t known for the past week or so. Yes, this has been going on for about a week now. It’s quite exasperating. I hate laying in bed, feeling the warm covers around me and the comfy pillow under my head, and wanting SO BADLY to fall asleep…but not being able to.

I am truly my own worst enemy when it comes to insomnia, as well. Because the harder I try to fall asleep, the less likely it is for me to actually reach that elusive state of dreamland.

But wait! Maybe I’m really sleeping right now, and my writing this post is only a dream…

Photo Credit: Juskteez Vu

Turning Off the Worry Switch

through-the-looking-glass

Racing thoughts. Irrational thoughts. Relentless thoughts. When will they end?

I lay awake at night, sleep eluding me, and wonder why my mind won’t just “shut down.”

I had a fairly good day: accomplished several chores, worked on my blog, shared some time with my husband, caught up with my mom over the phone, and took our dog for a walk in the crisp late afternoon air. But for some reason, it seems like there are things left unfinished.

Either that, or I’m concerned about tomorrow.

I must wake up early to go to the Behavioral Health Center that I was discharged from a month and a half ago, in order to sign for and pick up my records. This should be the first step in (hopefully) attaining continued temporary disability benefits.

Then I need to travel to the DVR (Division of Vocational Rehabilitation) Center in order to take a Career Scope test. The goal of the test is to find occupations that would be compatible with my likes, abilities, and skill set, while taking into account my mental health issues. I’m hoping that ultimately they will be able to provide free training for me in a new, suitable career. Prayers are appreciated! 🙂

Later in the evening, I have hand bell rehearsal at my church. It should be fun, albeit challenging. My husband and I are actually attempting to arrive early in order to go over our parts individually.

Maybe by putting these thoughts on “paper” I will be able to let them go. To turn the “worry switch” off in my brain and be able to rest in God and His loving and competent control of my life.

These are the type of thoughts that I want to fall asleep thinking about. 🙂