Tag: spirituality

I Will Trust in You

Faith can be very difficult sometimes.

The things that you desire may not come to pass…or at least as quickly as you would like them to. The prayers that you utter to God may seem to go unheard and unanswered. The situations that confuse and discourage you may feel like they are too much for you to bear. But that is actually where faith begins.

Tomorrow I will finish my time at the behavioral health program that I have been attending for the past ten or so weeks. It has been helpful, but I have to admit that I’m not as far along as I would have hoped.

Do I understand? No. Am I frustrated? Angry? Discouraged? Confused? Yes, on all accounts. I thought I was doing the right thing, and I thought I would be much better at the end of this program. Maybe I did do the right thing, but my recovery is still a battle that must be fought day by day.

I’m weary. I feel like giving up. The next step is ECT, which I am afraid of, and which will not be easy. But I have to keep pushing forward. I have to keep on starting afresh each day. Getting out of bed when I have no desire to. Trying to take care of the pets and do household chores and run errands when I have no energy or motivation. Reminding myself of the many things I have to be thankful for, and the ways that God has answered my prayers in the past.

A song that has resonated with me over the past several weeks is “Trust in You,” by Lauren Daigle. When nothing seems to be going the way you want it to and you feel that God is not listening, the best response that we can have is one of faith. So, I will bow at the feet of Jesus and say with the little strength that I have left: “I will trust in You. You are God, and You are faithful…even if I can’t see it playing out in my life right now. And I will thank You in advance for what You are going to do, in Your perfect timing.” ❤

 

 

Featured Photo by Patrick Fore

 

Stepping Forward in Faith

The Bible has a great deal to say about waiting for God, and the teaching cannot be too strongly emphasized. We so easily become impatient with God’s delays. Yet much of our trouble in life is the result of our restless, and sometimes reckless, haste. We cannot wait for the fruit to ripen, but insist on picking it while it is still green. We cannot wait for the answers to our prayers, although it may take many years for the things we pray for to be prepared for us. We are encouraged to walk with God, but often God walks very slowly. Yet there is also another side to this teaching: God often waits for us.

Quite often we fail to received the blessing He has ready for us because we are not moving forward with Him. While it is true we miss many blessings by not waiting for God, we also lose numerous blessings by overwaiting. There are times when it takes strength simply to sit still, BUT there are also times when we are to move forward with a confident step.

Many of God’s promises are conditional, requiring some initial action on our part. Once we begin to obey, He will begin to bless us. Great things were promised to Abraham, but not one of them could have been obtained had he waited in Chaldea. He had to leave his home, friends, and country, travel unfamiliar paths, and press on in unwavering obedience in order to receive the promises. Then ten lepers Jesus healed were told to show themselves to the priest, and “as they went, they were cleansed” (Luke 17:14). If they had waited to see the cleansing come to their bodies before leaving, they would never have seen it. God was waiting to heal them, and the moment their faith began to work, the blessing came.

When the Israelites were entrapped by Pharaoh’s pursuing army at the Red Sea, they were commanded to “go forward” (Exodus 14:15). No longer was it their duty to wait, BUT to rise up from bended knees and “go forward” with heroic faith. Years later the Israelites were commanded to show their faith again by beginning their march over the Jordan while the river was at its highest point. They held the key to unlock the gate into the Land of Promise in their own hands, and the gate would not begin to turn on its hinges until they had approached and unlocked it. The key was faith.

We are destined to fight certain battles, and we think we can never be victorious and conquer our enemies. Yet as we enter the conflict, One comes who fights by our side. Through Him we are “more than conquerors” (Romans 8:37). If we had waited in fear and trembling for our Helper to come before we would enter the battle, we would have waited in vain. This would have been the overwaiting of unbelief. God is waiting to pour our His richest blessings on you. “God forward” with bold confidence and take what is yours. “I have begun to deliver…Now begin to conquer and possess” (Deuteronomy 2:31).

~ Written by J.R. Miller; taken from Streams in the Desert, January 26th entry, by L.B. Cowman

 

Photo Credit: Dennis Ottink

Letting Go

I haven’t posted in quite some time. During this lapse, I celebrated several birthdays including my own, said goodbye (for now) to a beautiful person and dear friend, lost a much-loved pet, helped to plan a Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party for my best friend, shared the holidays with my family, began attending a behavioral health program, played in a hand-bell performance at my church, and watched with joy as my best friend said “I do,” to name a few.

There have definitely been some ups and downs.

But I feel like that is what God is trying to teach me. No matter what happens in my life – whether it be good or bad – He is there, and He is loving, and He is sovereign. And He is using my circumstances to mold and shape me so that I can fulfill His plans for my life.

Today as I was driving home from a difficult psychiatrist appointment, the Lord spoke to me through several songs: “Just Be Held,” by Casting Crowns, “Come As You Are,” by Crowder, and “Help Me Find It,” by Sidewalk Prophets. I felt like God was saying to me:

“Crystal, you’ve got to let go. Stop trying to control everything. Stop trying to be perfect. Stop trying to please everyone. Come to me just the way you are – weaknesses, sins, brokenness and all. Look to Me. Rely on Me. Trust Me. I am your Father, and I love you. Life will not be easy, but I will guide you as you move forward in faith.”

And that’s what I want to do.

I will most likely stumble and fall…but I trust that I will keep getting back up by God’s grace. And keep moving forward.

I want to let go – moment by moment…and fall into the arms of the God who will never let go of me.

 

 

The featured picture is a shot that I took with my phone when I arrived home from my Dr.’s appointment today. In the photo it looks like the sun, but it’s actually a tiny slice of a rainbow (there were numerous colors). This was another reminder that God sees me, sees where I am and what I’m struggling with. And that with Him, there is hope.