Spiraling Downward

The past several days my mood has spiraled downward. There have been pockets of light in the darkness – but not many. I find myself wanting to sleep constantly…and a lot of times I give in to the desire. How do I get out of this horrible pit?

My psychiatrist wants me to increase the dosage of one of my medications, but I’m still waiting to receive the meds in the mail. I’m hoping that this dosage change is going to help stabilize my mood. If it doesn’t, I’m not sure what the next step should be.

My work-from-home job has ended for the school season (I graded student essays), and I really need to find something else to do to help bring in money…and to keep me on a schedule. Without the need to get up for work, I tend to just stay in bed. And I can’t keep doing this – I’ve got to break out of this cycle!

Unfortunately sleep is my coping mechanism. When I feel deeply depressed, or face a task that is overwhelming, or just want to give up…I turn to sleep. I know that this isn’t pleasing to the Lord, and that it’s not a good use of the time He’s given me. But it’s a moment-by-moment struggle for which I need all of the prayers that I can get.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for praying. I really appreciate it. ❤

Thankful Thursday (episode 3)

So I did a little better this week with remembering to record the things that I’m thankful for. 🙂 That’s a blessing in and of itself! The reminders from the app (the Five Minute Journal) helped a little…but it always seems like when I receive a reminder, I’m busy at that moment and can’t record my thoughts. So right now – before I forget, I’m going to change the times of my reminders so that hopefully they will come when I’m free to write in the app.

The nice thing about the app is that it has positive quotes for each day that pop up when you open the app, and it also has the ability to add a photo to each entry. The quotes are good because they give me a little boost for my day, and I like adding photos to my entries because it helps me be able to look back and remember each day more fully.

So here are some of the things I am grateful for from this past week!

  1. God got me through the work week
  2. A car that gets me where I need to go
  3. The sensation of sliding under the cool bed-sheets at night
  4. I got a drink from Starbucks for 50 cents
  5. Being able to sleep in (even if I did sleep too late)
  6. Sparkling apple cider with dinner
  7. A nice time at Barnes and Noble (coffee, sweets, and books…with my Hubby)
  8. Strength for work, even though I didn’t sleep well the night before
  9. Comfort food (we had a sausage, cheese, and rigatoni bake for dinner)
  10. A nice time talking with friends after handbell practice
  11. That we have a yard for our dog (Daisy) to run around in
  12. A dishwasher – I have less dishes to wash by hand
  13. That my memory may be getting a little better
  14. For the cool breeze against my skin when I took Daisy for a walk
  15. That there was enough work available for me to complete my full shift
  16. That I was able to read a book and munch on popcorn in the evening
  17. Free Wawa coffee!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode of Thankful Thursday. ❤ Please feel free to share in the comments some of the things that YOU are grateful for from this past week! 😀

Photo Credit: Toa Heftiba

A Day in the Life

I felt a little down today. It started off with my sleeping through two alarms and not having enough time to make lunch for my Hubby to take to work with him. But he was gracious about it, and I did have enough time to jump in the shower and get ready to begin my work day.

Yes, I’m working now! 🙂 It’s only a few hours a day, but it’s still something. I grade student essays from my computer at home and give them a score based on certain criteria. It makes me think a lot and sometimes gives me a headache, but I’m grateful for the opportunity. I really struggle with working because of my depression, anxiety, and OCD…(with this job I’m having a difficult time with my perfectionism), but I’m trying my best. You can be praying, though, because the job only lasts a month or two…and then I’ll need a new one. Thank you!

The day got a little better after work: I took our dog, Daisy, for a nice walk…it was beautiful outside! I was also able to sit a talk for a few minutes with one of our neighbors. It’s amazing how much a little fresh air can help.

I did some laundry, washed some dishes, and job-searched until my Hubby got home from work. And now it’s time to make dinner and probably watch some TV. Not an overly exciting day, but at least I’m feeling a little better than I was this morning. I’m going to try to get to bed at a decent time so I can start fresh tomorrow morning.

How was YOUR day? Was it good, bad, or somewhere in between? I’d like to hear, so feel free to share in the comments!

Photo Credit: Rawpixel