Faithful Father

Daddy and his little boy.

I’m frickin’ angry.

I’m so incredibly tired.

I’m at a complete loss for what to think and how to respond to my continued inability to sleep and to the way it’s making me feel right now.

I want to just keep eating and eating this “comfort food.” Why not? It makes me feel “good” – or at least “okay” – for a few rotten moments…and then it bites me in the butt.

I need You, Daddy. I need You, my “Abba,” my gracious Father…I need You desperately. I know You’re here with me, but I’m having a hard time “feeling” Your presence. I wish You could physically embrace me so that I could “experience” the comfort of your touch…but I can only “sense” Your strong (yet gentle) “arms” around me now with “tingling skin” of faith.

Where are You, God?

Are you in this fiery trial with me, or have You left me all alone?

I know the answer. I know the truth…

I am not alone. You are right here with me, in this fire. Protecting me from the effects of the billowing flames.

You’ve been here before. You’ve felt what I’m feeling. You understand completely.

I am known and loved.

I am cherished and adored.

I have worth.

I have value.

I am fashioned in Your image, and you have declared Your creation of me as “very good.”

I am Your “masterpiece,” …Your “poem”!

You are writing my “story” – the story of my life.

You, the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, care about me…and You care about everything that concerns me!

You are incredibly and delightfully and utterly GOOD –

All of the time. Now and forevermore…

My Faithful Father. 💜

When Weakness Becomes Strength

“…For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:10

This statement made by Paul sounds very much like a contradiction at first. How can someone be strong when they are weak? Is it possible for strength to be born out of weakness?

But God has been teaching me the truth of this apparent contradiction through my  daily experiences as a new Mama.

Learning how to be a good caregiver for my son has been a growing process. As I’m met with each need of this child who depends on me so completely, the Lord is teaching me to put aside my selfishness and to rely on Him for the strength to meet those needs. And the one realization that I keep being confronted with is this:

I am extremely weak!

I need God’s help to get up during the night to feed Micah. I need His strength to rise in the morning after not having been able to sleep much due to insomnia. I need the Lord to assist me in determining how to calm my son when he cries and cries and I can’t figure out what is wrong. I need my heavenly Father to enable me to do what is best for Micah when all I want to do is to take “the easy way out.”

When the anxiety threatens to overwhelm me…when the headaches make it difficult for me to think…when I’m missing the days of being able to get up and go whenever and wherever I wanted…when I’ve run out of patience but am still required to give more…in EVERY situation I need God’s help.

At first this recognition of my utter weakness depressed me. But then God showed me that He had me right where He wanted me to be! The reason for this is that in my weakness Christ is able to display His supernatural strength.

Paul writes earlier in 2 Corinthians 12 regarding his “thorn in the flesh”:

“But [the Lord] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

When we allow the Lord’s power to shine through our shortcomings, our weakness becomes strength. 💛

A New Song

I must admit, today didn’t start off well. I woke up feeling tired, discouraged, and more than a little hopeless.

It wasnt like something really negative had occurred, or like I had nothing to be grateful for – because that was far from the truth. It was just that my hormones and emotions were pulling me into a pit of depression and anxiety.

That all-too-familiar and dreaded pit of darkness.

I wanted to feel sorry for myself and wallow in my feelings of dejection. It would be so easy! And for a little while, I DID wallow. But God quickly pulled me closer to Himself and snapped me back to reality through a suggestion from my husband:

“Why don’t you put on some uplifting music?” he asked.

I didn’t want to – I just didnt feel like it! The pit I occupied was deep and dark, and it seemed impossible to try to climb out. Also, if I was honest, the pit felt somewhat comfortable in its familiarity.

But as I turned on some Christian music and sat down with Micah, our miracle child, the LORD faithfully began to pull me up out the depths with truths from His Word.

He loves me. He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for my sins and to provide a way for me to have a relationship with Him. He is good, and wants what is best for me. I can trust Him. He is in control – and I don’t have to try to be!

Maybe you can understand my feelings of worry and despair. Maybe you’re in a dark pit of your own, and can’t seem to climb out. Look to God for help. Wait expectantly for His provision. He is faithful, and will not fail you. As you rely on His grace and strength, He will lift you out of the pit and provide a song in your heart – a new song of praise that will be a testimony to those around you. 💛

“I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.” ~ Psalm 40:1-3