Category: Faith

He is Always There

Floating along in a sea of people,
I feel all alone;

For though there are many faces,
By them I’m not known.

I smile, and speak, and gesture –
But nobody cares.

They gaze in my direction
But it’s just a blank stare.

This time of year is supposed to be
Merry and bright…

But all I can feel is an ache
That won’t pass with the night.

Thank God for Jesus, the One
Who is always there;

He brings peace when I’m fretful
And joy when I’m full of despair.

 

I apologize for the disheartening nature of this poem…but it’s how I’m feeling right now, and I wanted to be real about it. There is a light, however, in the darkness: Jesus, the Son of God, Who came to earth to give us abundant life – both now and throughout eternity. With Him, I (and you) will never be alone. ❤

 

Photo by Kleiton Silva on Unsplash

When Joy Seems Elusive

I’ve been falling back into the mud and mire of depression.

There are numerous reasons for this. The struggle with insomnia has left me extremely tired. The hormone medicine I was taking to assist in achieving pregnancy affected me poorly, leaving me feeling anxious, irritable, and overwhelmed. And I’ve been experiencing loneliness for some time now.

I try to pull myself up out of the pit, but it’s not working. What I really need is for God to pull me up out of this muck.

With the holiday season upon us, I’ve wanted to focus on being grateful. On praising my Father for Who He is and all that He’s provided. On reaching out to others who need love. I haven’t succeeded yet in doing this. I need to be intentional – to do whatever it takes to be a blessing…even if I feel like I’m sinking into the depths. I know that if I can focus on other people, I will begin to feel better. Please pray that I can do this.

Through all of this, God has been faithful. I know He’s with me, and that I can go to Him at any time, and for any reason. He is my loving Father. My Comforter. My Savior. My Friend. I can trust in Him fully, and I can rely on His Word and His Spirit for guidance.

I’ve been reading through the Psalms, as these poignant songs really resonate with me in my situation. They help me to be honest with God, and to express what’s going on inside my heart. Yesterday as I was reading I came across a passage that encouraged me and gave me hope. I believe that as I cling to the truths in these verses, God will lift my spirit and restore my joy and gratitude. ❤

“But I have trusted in Your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
because He has dealt bountifully with me.”

~ Psalm 13:5-6 ESV

 

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Freedom Through Surrender

I haven’t been feeling well. I’ve been moody, irritable, tired, and more anxious and depressed than normal.

My fertility doctor recently increased my progesterone medication, as the lower dosage I had taken last cycle wasn’t enough. It’s really been affecting me poorly.

Yesterday I had somewhat of a breakdown. After sleeping much of the day (mainly because I couldn’t sleep at night), I finally found the strength to take a shower. In the shower I begged God to provide some sort of help or relief – for Him to somehow get me through this struggle.

He didn’t disappoint.

As I was getting dressed, one of my favorite songs came on the radio: “Thy Will,” by Hillary Scott. It’s a favorite song of mine because in many of the trials I’ve gone through – especially with my mental health – it’s helped me to express my heart to God when I had no strength or energy to formulate words.

The song basically talks about not understanding the place that God has you in, and feeling overwhelmed at the difficulty of your trial. But the climax of the song comes when the artist fully surrenders the situation to God and says, “Thy will be done.”

I knelt on the floor in the bathroom and began to sob. No matter how hard things were at the moment, what the Lord desired of me was surrender. Surrender to His will. Surrender to His plan and purpose. Surrender to His sovereignty. And surrender to His goodness and love.

God had His way. I surrendered the situation to Him…and I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It wouldn’t be easy – and I would need to surrender to His will each day – but through His strength I knew that I would be able to persevere…one baby step at a time. ❤

 

Photo by Jordan McQueen on Unsplash