Tag: anxiety

When I’m With You

“When I’m with You
I feel the real me finally breaking through
It’s all because of You Jesus
Anytime anywhere any heartache
I’m never too much for You to take
There’s only love
There’s only grace
When I’m with You”

~ Citizen Way

I’m so glad that I can be myself with God.

Yesterday and today were rough days for me. I struggled with a lot of anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and depression. But thank the Lord that He was there with me, walking beside me every step of the way.

I can share with Him every doubt, every worry, every fear…and know that it won’t be too much for my Father. When I come to Him with these burdens, He pours out His love and grace on me. And I can feel peace in His presence.

If you are struggling with feeling like you need to put on a facade before the Lord, just remember that He knows you and loves you just the way you are. He is aware of our hang-ups, and He will bring us victory in those areas as we rely on Him.

When we’re with Him…we have everything we need.

God’s Got Me

“It’s going to be okay. God’s got me. He’s got it all under control.”

This is the phrase I repeat to myself when I feel overwhelmed and like I want to give up. It doesn’t make my problems go away, but it helps me to get through them. And I realized today that God has been very good to me in keeping this promise.

This morning I had an ECT (ElectroConvulsive Therapy) treatment after three weeks without one. I normally go every two weeks – which doesn’t seem like a big difference, but it is with ECT. After the treatment I had three weeks ago, I felt very depressed and tired. It really made getting through each day difficult. So I was worried about my treatment today, that it would make me feel horrible again. But it didn’t.

As my Mom drove me home from the hospital this morning, she remarked that I seem a lot better after this treatment. And I do feel better. After the anesthesia wore off, I was able to wash some dishes, put away groceries, and take a shower. Normally I would just sleep all afternoon, so this is good for me! And my mood is better – I feel somewhat upbeat. This is truly a blessing, and I pray that it lasts!

All this to say: God’s got me. God’s got you. He’s not going to let us down (He never has and He never will!) Life is hard, but our Father is bigger and stronger than anything we will ever face. He showed me that today, and all I can say is that I’m grateful.

Thank You, Jesus, for always being there for us, and for walking with us through our darkest hours. And thank you for the times when the sun shines through the clouds. You are truly good!

Everyone Has a Story

If everyone has a story, what is mine?

What is it that God wants to use me for in this world? Right now, I feel somewhat useless. Although I AM a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, and a friend – along with being a daughter-in-law and a sister-in-law, among other relationships – I still wonder…

Wonder what it is that I’m here for.

I love to read and to write. I love to help people. I love nature. I love to travel and see new places. I love animals. I love coffee and tea. I love enjoying time with my family and friends. But is that enough? How do all of these things come together to enable me to accomplish the personalized plan that is “my story”?

Right now I feel kind of stuck. I’m making my way through each day with God’s strength. I’m going to ECT (ElectroConvulsive Therapy) and to see my psychiatrist, praying that God will continue to help me overcome my depression and anxiety. I started a new work-from-home job which I am very grateful for…but again, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

God, am I enough for you? Am I enough for the people who are in my life? What is it that you have for me?

I know what the Bible says. Although I will never be “good enough” in and of myself, I have been washed clean of my sins by Christ’s blood – and made His precious and beloved daughter. In Him, I am enough. In Him, I am whole. In Him, I can become the unique person that He made me to be.

I am blessed to have these precious promises. But truthfully…I’m having a difficult time believing them. I don’t feel like they are true. I don’t feel like they apply to me. I’m just not feeling it.

However, I know that it doesn’t really matter how I feel. What matters is that I have faith in what God has said to be true. And I pray that I’ll be able to do that.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” ~ Ephesians 2:10