Pitter patter,
Rain spatters
Down the rooftop of our home.
A dark night,
And out of sight
Is the sun that once did roam.
I feel my heart
Stop and start,
Pondering the worries that I face;
I can’t let go –
Release control,
For I need things done my way.
But there’s a God
Whose staff and rod
Will guide me as I pray.
I give it up,
Lift up my cup –
Let the Lord pour in His plan;
He knows what’s best,
And I can rest
Fully surrounded in His hand.
Photo Credit: Mark Doda
Have you ever noticed that our struggles tend to drive us closer to God? This has been playing out in my life over the past several days, and for this I am grateful.
I’ve been feeling quite depressed. I’ve been struggling with a medication issue, and it has affected me mentally and emotionally. Even though school has been helping me to get into a better routine, I’ve still been fighting to keep above water.
I felt so down this afternoon that all I wanted to do was sleep. I lay down and slept fitfully for several hours. Then the “beating myself up” began. Why had I wasted this time? Why had I upset my routine, and endangered my ability to fall asleep when it came time for bed?
But God pulled me up out of this rut. I went food shopping and had just enough money to buy the things that I needed. It was also encouraging that I received my first “paycheck” from Steeped Tea today. It made me feel like my hard work was beginning to pay off. And it’s also been wonderful to see signs of Spring outside, like blooming flowers and warmer weather.
I’m feeling better now. I don’t know how long this feeling will last – it’s definitely been an up and down battle. But what I DO know is that I need to keep coming back to God each time I face a trial. He is the One who can help me see the good things, when all I want to focus on is the bad.
And in this way God helps me to move from “feeling blue,” to relying on Himself.
Photo Credit: Milada Vigerova
It’s been cold inside my heart for the past week or so. I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety, a lot of doubt, a lot of perfectionism…just a discouraging time. On one hand, I know the Truth of what God says, but on the other hand, I’m having a difficult time believing it.
At two points during the past several days, I’ve been so anxious that I’ve had to actually write out a list of all the things I was anxious about, just to get them “out of my head” so I could try to go to sleep. Thankfully, I feel better after doing this – and I always try to end with reminding myself of the positives and the promises of God. Somehow this keeps me going.
For example, one night I wrote out my list of worries, and then asked myself, “Why am I worrying so much about all of this?” I answered myself:
But then I countered myself with these truths:
A verse that encouraged me at this time was Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT) – “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Then another night I was worried about something else, and how things weren’t going as I had hoped. But again, I tried to encourage myself with truths:
The hardest part is that I feel like no one understands. People try, but they just don’t struggle with the same things. Truthfully, however, no one can fully understand someone else. The ONLY Person who can COMPLETELY understand me and each and every person is Jesus Christ.
“For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” ~ Hebrews 4:15 (ESV)
PRAISE GOD that He understands! Sometimes it is just this knowledge that gets me through. ❤
Knees to the Earth 