Decisions, Decisions

So I had a little bit of a different outcome at the fertility doctor’s office today.

I came in for an US (ultrasound), bloodwork, and a post coital test. I could only do the post coital test if my follicle (developing egg) was large enough – and it was, thankfully. They performed the test and after looking at my sample through a microscope, they informed me that my results were favorable. What does this mean? The Hubby and I can do things naturally this month, if we would like to.

For the previous four months, Roy and I have had an IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) procedure performed at the appropriate time in my cycle. My cervical mucus had not been a favorable environment, so they needed to bypass all of that by performing the IUI’s. My doctor had advised me to take Mucinex to help with my mucus, but this hadn’t been successful. After taking the Mucinex and then completing the post coital test this cycle, however, they determined that my mucus was a good environment.

Which means we’re faced with a different question than normal: should we go ahead and do things naturally this cycle, or should we have the IUI performed anyway? The pro to having the IUI performed anyway would be that if I failed to conceive this cycle, we would know that it wasn’t because of my cervical mucus, as the IUI would bypass that. The con to performing the IUI is the procedure itself. It’s a little bit involved…and it’s not easy to go through. Doing things naturally would be much easier. But we want to do what will produce the most favorable results.

The doctor’s office will be calling me later today to give me the results of my bloodwork and to provide further instructions. At that point I guess we’ll have to talk it over and make a decision. We are praying, and I know that other people are praying for us, so I trust that God will guide us in the way He knows is best.

Undergoing fertility treatments has definitely been a journey in and of itself for us. But the Lord has been faithful so far…and I believe that He will finish what He has begun, in His time and His way.

Thank you so much for your support as we undertake this journey! And I wanted to apologize for all of the terminology in this post – it’s difficult to provide more detail than a cursory explanation without utilizing the terms. But please let me know if I was too confusing or if anything seemed overly candid. Thanks again. ❤

 

Photo by Jake Melara on Unsplash

No Matter What it Takes

Today was a fairly good day.

Even though I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night, I got out of bed with my Hubby this morning and refrained from going back to bed. I spent some time at Barnes and Noble with a drink and a pastry. I worked on chores around the house. I took the dog for a walk. I completed tasks to prepare for a seasonal, work-from-home job that I will be starting soon. And I began to plan for teaching English lessons to my friend’s son, who speaks Spanish. It may not sound like much, but for me, it’s quite a bit.

To top it all off, my husband (Roy) had overtime at work and was able to come home early. That gave us some time to hang out and also to run to the store for a few things. We may have even grabbed drinks at Dunkin’. 🙂

As I mentioned, this may seem like a pretty normal day to most people. But because of my depression and anxiety and my desire to “avoid” the things that distress me, I have been oversleeping. Wasting the time that the Lord has given me. Failing to use the gifts that God has bestowed upon me to reach out to others. And I don’t want to do that any longer.

So it’s going to be a day-by-day thing. I know that I will still struggle immensely…but I feel like I have turned a small corner. Each day I must strive to get myself out of bed and to face the day, along with its challenges. Strive to take baby steps forward. Strive to be the woman that God created me to be.

Thankfully, my heavenly Father is faithful; and I trust that He will enable me to obey Him – no matter what it takes. ❤

 

Photo by David Mao on Unsplash

Welcome in the Sunshine

Sunshine and fresh air
Help to erase the sadness;
I walk along the street
With my puppy on my heels.
The wind and the rays
Carry hope for tomorrow –
The change in the seasons
Has brought change in my heart.

I wish that every day
Could be a day like this one,
A day where sunlight shines
Into the depths of my soul.
I know that the rain
And the darkness have a purpose,
But right now I want to remain
A little longer in this warmth.

The rain will come,
And the darkness along with it,
To match the despair
That is buried deep inside;
But I do have the light
Of my Savior God within me,
And as I cling to His side
He will cover me with His love.

Each day is a new day
To welcome in the sunshine,
Whether it be the light from the sun
Or the Light from within.
So wherever you are,
Whatever you’re facing –
Welcome in the sunshine
And be filled to the brim. ❤

© Crystal Knauss

Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash