Choosing Hope

I haven’t been feeling the greatest the past couple of days. My anxiety level is very high, and my depression makes me feel like I’m locked in a dark room where the only source of light has been snuffed out. But I know that there is hope in all of this. I choose to see hope!

I was blessed to be able to spend time with my husband’s family this past weekend, and that shone a light in the darkness. It was my sister-in-law’s birthday, and it was great to share that special time with her, eating good food and watching football.

Then my Mom and brother came up to see me today! We didn’t do anything too exciting, just went food shopping together…but we did end the visit with a trip to Dunkin’ Donuts. 🙂 I’m very grateful for the opportunity to spend time with them, and hope we can get together again soon.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow, so I’m praying that I can communicate to him how low I’ve been feeling…and that he will understand and know what to do. I seems like I’ve tried most every type of treatment available, and this can get discouraging…but I’ve got to keep fighting! Day by day, moment by moment, I need to choose to see hope. And choose to be grateful. ❤

 

Photo by Jasper Boer on Unsplash

When Things Come Unravelled

What causes me to unravel?

That’s a great question! And a question that I have never really asked myself before. So now is as good a time as ever! 🙂 Here are some things that induce a melt-down…or a mini-meltdown.

  1. Situations where I’m among a large crowd of people (okay, so even a semi-large crowd is difficult for me). This causes me a lot of anxiety.
  2. When I’ve lost something and have looked everywhere I can think of for it, but still can’t find it.
  3. Incorrect grammar. Okay, so maybe it doesn’t cause me to unravel, as I know I use incorrect grammar myself sometimes. But it bugs me. 😉
  4. Not getting enough sleep. It’s so hard to face the day when you tossed and turned the night before.
  5. Not “matching.” If I’m wearing black pants, I need to wear black shoes and carry a black purse to match.
  6. Something not being finished. Whether it be a thought, a blog post I’m writing, a conversation, a task I was working on…it bothers me to not have things completed.
  7. Hot and humid weather. Ugh! I’m a mild weather kind of girl – I like the Spring and the Fall. But when it’s hot and muggy and sweat is rolling down my back? Yeah, I’m done.
  8. When someone I love is hurting. This is a big one. I can’t stand it when a family member or friend is experiencing a really difficult time. Especially when I can’t do much to help!
  9. Decisions. Big or small, I struggle with them all.
  10. When I do something that I shouldn’t have done…like sleep all morning. I tend to beat myself up and it spirals downward.

So those are some of the things that cause me to unravel. What causes YOU to unravel? And what (or who) helps to bring you back to sanity?

I’m grateful for a God and for family and friends who point me back in the right direction. ❤

In the Moment

I’m sipping on my iced coffee.

I feel it spiraling down into my stomach.

It tastes good. 🙂

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I hear the dryer tossing our clothes.

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My husband is getting ready in the bathroom.

He’s listening to a sermon on his iPad.

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He’s in my life, encouraging me, reassuring me.

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I’m closing my eyes.

I’m being in the moment.

I’m thinking positive thoughts!

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I’m going to see my family soon.

Everything is going to be okay.

The pets are content on the couch.

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I’m looking out of the window at our backyard.

It’s going to be a good year.

God is on my side!

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Photo Credits: iced coffee, laundry, Bible and iPad, girl with eyes closed, and God is on my side are from a Google search / Other photos: Me 🙂