Tag: life

Dear Depression

Have you ever wanted to reach out to your depression (or anxiety, or any other illness), as if the illness were an actual *thing* that you could speak to and interact with?

I have, sometimes. Depression affects my life so much that I would like to tell it a thing or two about how it makes me feel, and how I will respond to it’s grip on my existence.

So here is a letter that I have written, to my depression.

Dear Depression,

I know you’re there. I can see you at work in my life, causing me to feel lethargic and listless, and like I will never be able to accomplish the tasks that I need to (much less do something that I find pleasure in).

You’re there when I wake up in the morning, and you’re there when I go to sleep at night. But just because you’re there doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight against you with all of my heart.

You want me to stay in bed all day so that I feel guilty and useless…but I’m going to force myself to get up and start the day, and rely on God to face whatever He has ahead. You want me to stay indoors so that I feel isolated and confined…but I’m going to make sure I get outside and feel the sun on my skin, either by walking the dog or taking a short trip in my car. And you want me to have a pessimistic attitude regarding life’s up’s and down’s…but I’m going to speak truth to myself: that even though life is difficult and I am struggling, my Father is with me and I can accomplish anything that he has planned for me to do.

Depression, I really can’t stand you! But for some reason, God has allowed you into my life…and I WILL learn to make the best of it. I will find things to be grateful for. I will take baby steps towards my goals and plans. I will engage in the activities that I used to enjoy – even though I don’t find the same pleasure in them now – because I believe that the Lord can re-ignite my passion for them. He has a purpose for me, and I will do my best to walk in it.

You big, black, ugly cloud of sorrow…you deep, dark, terrifying pit…THANK YOU. Thank you for causing me to rely on God. Thank you for allowing me to experience these heart-wrenching feelings so that I can understand other people who are in a similar situation. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reach out to these people because I can appreciate at least some of what they’re going through.

You may be strong, depression…but you’re not stronger than my God. And while I may always need to fight a battle with you, I will not allow you to win the war. You will be defeated – if not in this lifetime, in the life to come. And while you’re still a part of my life, I want to tell you this:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation [including depression], will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~ Romans 8:38-39

~ Crystal

Photo Credit: Luis Llerena

God Knows What He’s Doing

Have you ever been involved in a situation where you didn’t understand why things were unfolding the way that they were, or what you should do about it?

I had an experience like this last week.

I had prayed about a decision, and moved forward with what I thought was the correct course of action. But things didn’t work out like I thought they would.

At first, I was upset. I didn’t understand. I was confused – angry, even. But the Lord showed me that even though I didn’t understand, He knew what He was doing.

God worked things out in such a way that the outcome was better than what I had ever hoped for. If I had not moved forward in the beginning, I would not have given Him the opportunity to work. And if I had fought His change of direction, I may have missed the lesson that my Father was attempting to teach me:

He knows what He is doing…and His ways are always best.

If things aren’t going your way, a good course of action might be to take a step back and to listen for His voice. He may have something planned for you that is far greater than you could ever dream.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

~ Isaiah 55:8-9 (NLT)

Photo Credit: Roland Batke-Mutschler

Kitty Under the Christmas Tree

It’s been an interesting several weeks! I’ve started a new medicine and am waiting to see how I will respond to it. I’ve had some other health issues that have been annoying, but they are being taken care of, so I am thankful. And I can’t believe that the month of December is actually here. Christmas will arrive before we know it!

I want to really be mindful this holiday season. It’s so easy to get caught up in the presents and the decorating and even the family gatherings (none of which are bad things). But I want to focus in on Jesus and His birth this Christmas. I want to take the time to be still. To listen for once in a while, instead of talking. To use my ears instead of my mouth.

I hope to find some kind of advent idea for blog posts that will help me to be able to do this. But even with this desire for writing blog posts about advent, I could get caught up in the craziness. So I just want to be able to share–when I can–from my heart, about what God is teaching me. Hopefully as I share this it can be encouraging to someone else, as well!

To end this post I’d like to send greetings from my kitty, Misty, who loves to lounge under the Christmas tree. We haven’t even gotten the tree decorated yet, but she’s already found her spot underneath on the tree skirt, where she can blend in with several early Christmas presents that we have received.

I hope that each of you has a Blessed holiday season, and that the remembrance of Christ and what He has done for us will leave a lasting and an invigorating impression on our minds and hearts. ❤