Tag: OCD

Living With Doubt…and the Words I Need to Hear

I’ve struggled with doubt for as long as I can remember.

At first I struggled with doubt about my salvation/my relationship with God. I prayed over and over again to ask Jesus to come into my life, but then I questioned if I had prayed “correctly.” Ironically, after this uncertainty, I would worry that I had relied on “works” to save me instead of God (by trying to pray in a “perfect” manner). Needless to say, there were many times when these thoughts induced a frenzy of anxiety and fear – often coupled with headaches and tears.

Thankfully, I don’t struggle with this particular doubt any longer, as I have realized that God isn’t like that. He doesn’t require perfection from me. He wants me to trust Him and rely on Him.

Did that make any sense? Have you ever had thoughts similar to this? (It’s okay to think “no”) 😉

I know that a lot of it is my Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The OCD is what ignites the insatiable desire to perform tasks “perfectly” and to think “correctly.” But I also know that this isn’t what is required of me. I just need a way to switch over from my OCD thoughts to healthy thoughts.

What thoughts does God want me to think on when I’m feeling doubtful and perfectionistic? What are the words that I need to hear and believe?

  1. I am loved (John 3:16).
  2. I am strong in God’s strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
  3. I am forgiven (1 John 1:9).
  4. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
  5. I am unique (Isaiah 64:8).
  6. I am skilled (1 Peter 4:10).
  7. I have the ability to accomplish everything God has called me to do. (Philippians 4:13).
  8. I am enough (1 Corinthians 3:16).

These are just a few affirmations that I want to remember when I’m struggling with doubt. And I still do struggle with it. I doubt my abilities, I doubt my worth, I doubt the quality of tasks that I complete – to name a few.

But I have to remind myself of the truth – let it wash over my mind. God is speaking the words I long to hear…I just need to listen. ❤

P.S. Thank you for reading…I know that my struggles are a little strange, but I wanted to be open and honest about them in the hopes that I can be of help to someone else.

A Ray of Sunshine

I had a good day today. Not necessarily because it was Valentine’s Day – although my husband did help me make a delicious dinner to celebrate. Not because I didn’t struggle with anxiety and depression – although I was able to combat it a little more thoroughly. And not because everything went perfectly – although I’m finally starting to learn that perfection is not something I need to seek.

But I could see the sunshine. Not only in the sky (which was extremely nice to see and feel), but also in my life.

I was blessed to be able to share some time with a friend today. We walked and talked and it was so nice! I have spent much of my time kind of closed up in my house…and it was great to be able to get out and get some fresh air.

It may not seem like much, but it was a big encouragement to me. I’m grateful to God for the ray of sunshine…and trusting that He will help me to see the hope that is to be found in each day that He gives us.

Photo by: Zwaddi

When I’m With You

“When I’m with You
I feel the real me finally breaking through
It’s all because of You Jesus
Anytime anywhere any heartache
I’m never too much for You to take
There’s only love
There’s only grace
When I’m with You”

~ Citizen Way

I’m so glad that I can be myself with God.

Yesterday and today were rough days for me. I struggled with a lot of anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and depression. But thank the Lord that He was there with me, walking beside me every step of the way.

I can share with Him every doubt, every worry, every fear…and know that it won’t be too much for my Father. When I come to Him with these burdens, He pours out His love and grace on me. And I can feel peace in His presence.

If you are struggling with feeling like you need to put on a facade before the Lord, just remember that He knows you and loves you just the way you are. He is aware of our hang-ups, and He will bring us victory in those areas as we rely on Him.

When we’re with Him…we have everything we need.