Tag: perfectionism

What Do I Value?

What are the things that I value in life? I was prompted to ask myself this question by one of Janine Ripper’s 23 Insightful Journal Prompts for Self-Reflection.

There are many things that I value, many attributes that are at the core of who I am and who I want to be. But I have listed 5 of my most important values below. I hope that they can be an encouragement to you, and also a reminder to me of those things that truly matter to me in my life.

  1. Faith. I want to love and trust God with all of my heart. I feel like sometimes I do that, and other times I do not. I can let things get in between us – like excessive sleep, a worry that I obsess over, or not being obedient to something the Lord wants me to do. But overall I think I’m trying my best, and I know God sees that. He is gracious, and He will give me the strength to continue to walk with Him through the difficult (and the enjoyable) times.
  2. Empathy (this encompasses love and compassion). I feel that it is very important to try to understand what other people are going through. Sometimes they may be going through a situation that I have never experienced before – and that is difficult because it’s hard to put myself “in their shoes.” But I can listen, and I can be a support to them in their trial. Other times people may be going through a situation that I have also experienced (such as depression or anxiety). That is when I can share with them my sorrows and my joys and all that God is teaching me through them.
  3. Grace. This one I struggle with. I have a hard time being gracious with myself when I mess up (that is my perfectionism rearing it’s ugly head). Because of that, I also have a difficult time being gracious with other people when I feel that they have made a mistake. But here my first value (faith) can help, because I need to remind myself that God is forgiving and gracious towards me, and also rely on Him for the strength to be gracious towards those around me. I know that I can do this with His help!
  4. Honesty. It’s important to me to be honest with myself and with others about who I really am. I find it freeing to share the things that I struggle with and to be open about my flaws. Often this is an encouragement to others to open up about their own shortcomings. By being honest, I can develop strong relationships and have more of an impact on the people around me.
  5. Gratitude (includes positivity). This is something that had been lacking in my life for a while. I was always focused on the negative – always lingering on the less-than-perfect events that occurred. But recently God has been showing me how to find good in the bad…how to be thankful for the little things. It doesn’t come easily to me, but I know that the Lord will continue to help me grow into a person who has a positive perspective in life.

So what did you think of the values I listed? What are 5 of the things that YOU value most?

Living With Doubt…and the Words I Need to Hear

I’ve struggled with doubt for as long as I can remember.

At first I struggled with doubt about my salvation/my relationship with God. I prayed over and over again to ask Jesus to come into my life, but then I questioned if I had prayed “correctly.” Ironically, after this uncertainty, I would worry that I had relied on “works” to save me instead of God (by trying to pray in a “perfect” manner). Needless to say, there were many times when these thoughts induced a frenzy of anxiety and fear – often coupled with headaches and tears.

Thankfully, I don’t struggle with this particular doubt any longer, as I have realized that God isn’t like that. He doesn’t require perfection from me. He wants me to trust Him and rely on Him.

Did that make any sense? Have you ever had thoughts similar to this? (It’s okay to think “no”) 😉

I know that a lot of it is my Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The OCD is what ignites the insatiable desire to perform tasks “perfectly” and to think “correctly.” But I also know that this isn’t what is required of me. I just need a way to switch over from my OCD thoughts to healthy thoughts.

What thoughts does God want me to think on when I’m feeling doubtful and perfectionistic? What are the words that I need to hear and believe?

  1. I am loved (John 3:16).
  2. I am strong in God’s strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
  3. I am forgiven (1 John 1:9).
  4. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
  5. I am unique (Isaiah 64:8).
  6. I am skilled (1 Peter 4:10).
  7. I have the ability to accomplish everything God has called me to do. (Philippians 4:13).
  8. I am enough (1 Corinthians 3:16).

These are just a few affirmations that I want to remember when I’m struggling with doubt. And I still do struggle with it. I doubt my abilities, I doubt my worth, I doubt the quality of tasks that I complete – to name a few.

But I have to remind myself of the truth – let it wash over my mind. God is speaking the words I long to hear…I just need to listen. ❤

P.S. Thank you for reading…I know that my struggles are a little strange, but I wanted to be open and honest about them in the hopes that I can be of help to someone else.

Flawless

No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless

“Flawless,” by MercyMe

What an amazing truth! 

No matter what I’ve thought, done, experienced, or struggle with, I don’t have to beat myself up. I don’t have to rehash it in my mind. I don’t have to try to cover it up. I don’t have to attempt to be perfect.

Jesus has paid for my sins in full, and I have been wrapped in His righteousness.

He offers me (and you) grace! And all that we need to do is accept it.

Today, as we experience life…let’s let go of the desire to “measure up” in every way possible. Let’s rest in the arms of Jesus, and in His perfect love and mercy. I want so much to do this! And I hope that you will try it along with me. ❤