No Matter What it Takes

Today was a fairly good day.

Even though I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night, I got out of bed with my Hubby this morning and refrained from going back to bed. I spent some time at Barnes and Noble with a drink and a pastry. I worked on chores around the house. I took the dog for a walk. I completed tasks to prepare for a seasonal, work-from-home job that I will be starting soon. And I began to plan for teaching English lessons to my friend’s son, who speaks Spanish. It may not sound like much, but for me, it’s quite a bit.

To top it all off, my husband (Roy) had overtime at work and was able to come home early. That gave us some time to hang out and also to run to the store for a few things. We may have even grabbed drinks at Dunkin’. 🙂

As I mentioned, this may seem like a pretty normal day to most people. But because of my depression and anxiety and my desire to “avoid” the things that distress me, I have been oversleeping. Wasting the time that the Lord has given me. Failing to use the gifts that God has bestowed upon me to reach out to others. And I don’t want to do that any longer.

So it’s going to be a day-by-day thing. I know that I will still struggle immensely…but I feel like I have turned a small corner. Each day I must strive to get myself out of bed and to face the day, along with its challenges. Strive to take baby steps forward. Strive to be the woman that God created me to be.

Thankfully, my heavenly Father is faithful; and I trust that He will enable me to obey Him – no matter what it takes. ❤

 

Photo by David Mao on Unsplash

Welcome in the Sunshine

Sunshine and fresh air
Help to erase the sadness;
I walk along the street
With my puppy on my heels.
The wind and the rays
Carry hope for tomorrow –
The change in the seasons
Has brought change in my heart.

I wish that every day
Could be a day like this one,
A day where sunlight shines
Into the depths of my soul.
I know that the rain
And the darkness have a purpose,
But right now I want to remain
A little longer in this warmth.

The rain will come,
And the darkness along with it,
To match the despair
That is buried deep inside;
But I do have the light
Of my Savior God within me,
And as I cling to His side
He will cover me with His love.

Each day is a new day
To welcome in the sunshine,
Whether it be the light from the sun
Or the Light from within.
So wherever you are,
Whatever you’re facing –
Welcome in the sunshine
And be filled to the brim. ❤

© Crystal Knauss

Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

He is Always There

Floating along in a sea of people,
I feel all alone;

For though there are many faces,
By them I’m not known.

I smile, and speak, and gesture –
But nobody cares.

They gaze in my direction
But it’s just a blank stare.

This time of year is supposed to be
Merry and bright…

But all I can feel is an ache
That won’t pass with the night.

Thank God for Jesus, the One
Who is always there;

He brings peace when I’m fretful
And joy when I’m full of despair.

 

I apologize for the disheartening nature of this poem…but it’s how I’m feeling right now, and I wanted to be real about it. There is a light, however, in the darkness: Jesus, the Son of God, Who came to earth to give us abundant life – both now and throughout eternity. With Him, I (and you) will never be alone. ❤

 

Photo by Kleiton Silva on Unsplash