Longing for Acceptance

Feelings of insecurity assail me.

I compare myself to others,

And always come up short.

I want to be myself –

To be who I truly am…

But I am afraid.

Afraid that people won’t like me.

Afraid that I am different;

That I won’t fit in.

All that I have ever wanted

Was to be “normal.”

I’m told, “There is no normal.”

But this doesn’t make me feel any better,

And it doesn’t assure me that I am not some freak

Just trying to look like everyone else.

Why can’t I be myself?

Why can’t I be “different?”

Fear. Confusion. Doubt.

Lack of confidence. Loneliness. Indecision.

My brain just doesn’t work like everyone else’s.

My thoughts get a little crazy,

And my emotions can be unstable.

I feel alone and misunderstood.

I feel…judged. And I don’t like it.

I wish there were someone who understood,

Someone who cared.

Someone who would walk beside me in the darkness.

Who would hold my hand,

And tell me that everything is going to be all right.

But I’m still waiting. Longing. Hoping.

I know to Whom I need to go,

And I know that He is the missing piece to this puzzle.

But sometimes I feel as if He’s not there.

That He doesn’t see me.

That He doesn’t care.

That He has the power to deliver me, and yet He doesn’t.

Why does He leave me like this?

My thoughts are tortured, my mind is calloused.

My words pour forth, and yet I feel that they fall on deaf ears.

Is there anyone listening?

Is there anyone who cares?

Is there anyone who understands?

Is there anyone who will see me for who I truly am,

And love me just the same?

Is there anyone – anyone at all –

Who feels the same way?

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I lift up my eyes to the mountains –

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

The Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2

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Image Credit: Alberto Restifo