Tag: depression

Maybe Some Day

Tears, falling slowly.

Heart, aching freely.

Not even sure what makes me cry.

I believe it’s a combination of things,

Things that are out of my control;

Things that worry me.

Things that make me hurt, and fear, and retreat

Into the depths of darkness

That is depression.

But the darkness is not only from my circumstances.

I feel the darkness just because.

It’s difficult to explain, but there are many times

That I feel discouraged

For absolutely no reason.

And it’s hard for people to understand–

Even the people who love me the most.

But they try, and that’s what matters.

And I have God–and He ALWAYS understands.

I’m so grateful that He is there for me,

Always present, always available,

Always concerned–more than concerned.

He is so concerned that He gave up His life for me…

And now He lives to give me life abundant.

Something that I am always yearning for,

But never quite attaining.

Maybe some day…

This was written a few days ago, but I was too embarrassed to post it. Still am somewhat embarrassed.

I’m feeling a little bit better, but not much. I’m taking steps to get the extra help that I need. It’s just a very difficult process.

But I wanted to share this poem, because I feel that being transparent is important…and because maybe there is someone out there feeling the same way who can be encouraged by the fact that they are not alone. ❤

Photo Credit: Chris Sardegna

What I DO Know

Thoughts, racing.

Worries, spiraling freely.

Can’t seem to get myself under control.

I don’t know what’s going to happen.

Don’t know how things will turn out.

It’s hurting my heart,

And I don’t know how to make it stop.

I wish I could see the future–

To see if everything is going to be okay.

But I don’t have that luxury.

I don’t know what is going to happen;

I don’t know how things will turn out.

Is there anything that I DO know?!

I do know that God is with me.

I do know that He will be my guide.

He will lead me through this,

Through the twists and the turns…

He will be there.

I do know that I have a support system.

People who love me and who are praying.

I do know that I am not in this alone.

Father, be my Peace.

Be my Guide.

Be my Everything.

I can’t do this on my own.

YOU are the most important factor in this situation;

And I throw myself upon Your grace, upon Your mercy, and upon Your love.

I need You–and I am not ashamed.

Photo credit: Dustin Scarpitti

I Can See a Light

I’ve been feeling pretty depressed the past several days. Yesterday was especially bad. I went up on one of my medications recently, so that could definitely be affecting me…along with other factors. But I was able to go to my therapist appointment today and talk some things out, which was very helpful.

As I was driving home from my appointment I treated myself to a Snicker-doodle latte at Dunkin Donuts (I had a coupon, of course 😉 !) and one of their new croissants/donuts with a chocolate drizzle. It’s amazing how little things like this can lift your spirits! I think that’s one of the things that has been pulling me down lately: I haven’t been taking the time to do the things that I enjoy. I just haven’t felt like doing them! Well, I pretty much haven’t felt like doing anything. But I’ve learned in the past and need to put back into practice the fact that when I don’t feel like taking care of myself, I need to do it anyway–and the enjoyment will come eventually. 🙂

I’m just so thankful for the support of my family and my close friends…and most importantly, for God. Without them and without God, I really don’t think I would make it. I am just in awe of the fact that the Lord doesn’t let me go–doesn’t give up on me, even when I give up on Him, in a sense. He’s so faithful, and I pray that I never forget this!

If you’re feeling down today, take at least a few minutes to do something that you enjoy–even if you don’t feel like it. It may seem like a chore at first, but I hope that the pleasure would come as you push forward through the mud and the muck. And depression IS a pit of mud and muck. You constantly have to crawl out of it. But thank God that we have Him to not only help us crawl out, but to lift us up on all sides and set us on our feet again. May we always remember the times in the past that He has come to our aide, and trust that He will do the same in our current situation, and for everything that we encounter in the future! ❤

Image Credit: Unknown